MAFS Fans Are Howling Over Evelyn, Mustard & *Checks Notes* Pickles’ Exit On Her Inaudible Mumbler

Evelyn moving hair out of her face with text on screen which reads [inaudible mumbling] and Rupert looking dejected on MAFS

MAFS is done! Yay! And as one final gift, the powers that be given us one final awkward turtle moment between Evelyn and Rupert, derpy clown music and all.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, for those who cannot stand to witness cringe in real time), the glorious moment lasted all of five seconds because Evelyn whipped through her final vows at the same speed my old cat Jonty (RIP baby, mummy loves you) used to devour his Fancy Feast. And we had to take that portly fella to the vet on multiple occasions because he ate his chicken and gravy so fucking quickly he would regurgitate it back up again seconds later.

Folks were bamboozled, nay, flummoxed at how fast Evelyn dumped Rupert.

Rupert delivered his final vows with the cadence of a Year 4 student giving a presentation about Egyptian mythology (read: the office had to call mum to bring him a new pair of undies and shorts because he crapped himself), and he even gave us an [inaudible mumbling] for old times’ sake. Bless!

He also told Evelyn that he loved meeting her dogs, Pistol Pickles (???) and Mustard. Aw!

The reviews were in: Twitter thought their breakup was simultaneously the best and worst one they’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

It was good for obvious reasons: quick, entertaining and both parties came out relatively unscathed. But it was also so deeply awkward I cringed into the couch and probably let out a little wee.

I can only hope my future breakups go as quickly as that. No mucking about!

It wasn’t just Evelyn and Rupert who sealed their fate tonight, though! There was Tahnee and Ollie! And Anko Fabio and Lyndall! Yay! You can read all about their audible thoughts and feelings via our gorgeous recap here.

If you’re still chomping at the bit for MAFS-related gossip, you can sign up to our newsletter here or give our podcast We’ve Done The MAFS (hehe) a listen.