The Internet Wants To Know Why MAFS’ Dan Doesn’t Just Fuck The Ocean If He’s So Obsessed With It

MAFS Dan Hunjas sitting on couch at commitment ceremony. Tweet overlaid which reads: I love how Dan is like “I need to leave, I need to return to the ocean” like he’s a mermaid and not just a douche

Sandy has finally been freed from the shackles of MAFS and her beast-mode husband Dan. Run forth, my sweet angel.

For anyone who has a clue, this decision shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, considering how dogshit Dan has been treating Sandy. The bloke announced at last week’s Commitment Ceremony that he wasn’t attracted to his objectively stunning wife and then slept with her, has been continually body-shaming her ‘cos she wasn’t as “active’ as him and kept getting mad that she didn’t like him going on six-hour runs. Among many other things.

The straw which seemingly broke the camel’s back for ol’ mate Beast-Mode was that seawater causes Sandy’s eczema to flare up, thus she doesn’t enjoy frequenting the big, watery beast that is the beach.

“The ocean is calling me. I have to go home,” he (sincerely) said. SCREAMING.

I genuinely wish I was joking but if I had a dollar for every time Dan said the words “beach” or “ocean” on the Ouch Couch tonight, I’d have a house deposit. He really didn’t want to pursue a relationship with a clever, beautiful, gutsy and emotionally-intelligent woman because she’s suffocating his desire to become one with the water and live out his days like Flipper and Lopaka.

The internet was shook. They did not realise MAFS‘ casting included creatures of the sea.

https://twitter.com/BuluBane/status/1632300575156244482

Others said the bloke legitimately thought he was the ocean’s chosen one à la Moana.

The entire thing was ridonkulous. Praying that Sandy gets the support and help she needs following the clusterfuck of an experience she’s had on MAFS.

If you’d like to catch up on the rest of the drama that went down tonight (Tayla going rogue and boot-scooting back to Tassie! Harrison refusing to mind his own beeswax!) then make sure you check out our gorgy wee recap.

If you’re still chomping at the bit for MAFS-related gossip, you can sign up to our newsletter here or give our podcast We’ve Done The MAFS (hehe) a listen.

More Stuff From PEDESTRIAN.TV