It was a big day for the Culkin family today, with actually talented lad Kieran Culkin rubbing shoulders with Hollywood luminaries at the Golden Globes, thanks to his own nomination, and elder brother Macaulay Culkin getting his heat back by hanging immense shit on his sibling from the comfort of his own couch.

Kieran, you see, attended the Golden Globes dressed to the nines to hear his nomination read out in the category of Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film for his work in the extremely Murdoch-ish HBO miniseries Succession.

See? Slick as hell, tbh.

Macaulay, on the other hand, has only recently watched the ink dry on his probably very official name change to Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin and was searching for a new project to occupy his time.

And because we live in the age where sibling rivalries have access to social media, we now have this glorious nonsense.

Rather than show any sign of outward support, Macaulay used his Twittering time this afternoon to grind seven shades of shit into his beloved lil bro, leaping all over him from virtually the start of the broadcast right until its last moments.

Brothers, sisters, family among you, take note: This is a masterclass in how to use a simple smartphone to tear loving strips off of your own flesh and blood.

First, you establish the scene.

Then, when the familiar face shows itself, you feign surprise. What’s that? My god! You had no idea they were going to or doing this thing they simply have not shut up about for the past few weeks.

After that, you butter them up with a little genuine love.

Not too much, but. Gotta reel it back in at some point.

Finally, when you’re absolutely certain they cannot retort, you go for the throat.

And before they even realise just what in the hell has happened, you slink off into the shadows. You are dust. Gone.

They should teach this in schools. Magnifique *kissy fingos*.

Image: Getty Images / Frazer Harrison