If there’s one thing you can be certain of in the modern age, it’s that asking the internet to name something will never go in your favour, the most notable example being Boaty McBoatface. Welp, it’s clear that former child star, Macaulay Culkin, doesn’t give a fuck, because he asked the internet to give him a new middle name and the result is just… I don’t even know.
In a recent post on old mate’s website, Bunny Ears, he talks about having a boring middle name and asks his fans to choose a new one for him.
“My middle name is something dumb. Larry? Orange? Honestly, I can’t even remember it,” he writes. “So I asked you all to send in some better options so I can go down to the courthouse and explain to a judge why I need to change my middle name to something cool.”
Now, here’s the thing, Culkin went through the list he was sent and chose his five favourites from it. I’d really just like to drive that point home – he decided that these were the best names suggested to him, knowing full well he would be legally changing his current name to one of them.
Ok, here are the five: Macaulay Culkin, Shark Week, Kieran, TheMcRibIsBack, and Publicity Stunt. Yeah, you see what I mean.
Culkin then opened a poll, allowing fans to vote for the one they liked the best, and the winner was fucking Macaulay Culkin by an enormous margin.
That’s right, Culkin is gonna trot his ass down to the courthouse and legally change his name to Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin because the internet told him to. Unreal.
The actor announced the winner on Christmas Day via a tweet.
Merry Christmas to me, from all of you!— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) December 25, 2018
My new middle name has been chosen. You voted and the winner is clear.
In 2019 my new legal name will be:
Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin.
It has a nice ring to it (if you like my name).#MerryChristmas
Christ, alright mate. As News.com.au points out, Culkin recently spoke about the possibility of having Macaulay Culkin as his middle name with Jimmy Fallon, saying it would be great for a gag.
“So, if somebody comes up to me at the airport, and says, ‘Excuse me, are you Macaulay Culkin?’ I’d go, ‘Well Macaulay Culkin is my middle name,” he said. Good one.
Everyone say g’day to Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin, I guess.