Guys I am so fucking mad at Love Island and it’s islanders right now. Specifically, the dudes. More specifically, Luke. Can they bloody not be so hypocritical?
So we come back to Isabelle and Jessie on their dates with Blake (I’ve worked out his name) and Todd?? (fuck now I’ve forgotten HIS name). They’re having a good time as we knew, and back in the villa Matt/Gerard are needing deep psychologist sessions.
Isabelle and Jessie return – they’re high on life and weirdly don’t say hi to anyone and just run off to the fire pit to chat. Like guys, if you wanna keep your options OPEN this is not how you do it.
They both vibed their respective dudes HARD, and really don’t contain their excitement.
When they venture back to chat to the rest of the girls, they get absolutely roasted by Cartier for not “reassuring” their current partners when they returned. Isabelle is like, fuck you.
Jessie finally chats to Gerard about the date – he asks her if she wants to get to know the new guys and she says yes. He then calmly DRAGS HER TO HELL by saying if two new girls walked in, his head wouldn’t turn, that she immediately clocked the new guys and it was like Gerard didn’t exist, that he felt they had a real connection and now feels like he was wrong.
Overall he just exposes Jessie for her bullshit – she played RIGHT into Gerard’s interest in her, right when Yoghurt was going off their relationship.
In her defence she seems really upset about how she’s made Gerard feel. I absolutely reckon she used him to stay in the villa, but she’s not an evil soulless demon.
I’m being a bitch but Cynthia’s face when she’s sitting consoling Jessie is just all time.
Isabelle talks to Matt and is like “we’re a slow burn” and he agrees. She then tells the camera that she could have handled the situation a bit better and should have said bye and hi to him. To be honest I was just really distracted by her underboob situation.
Matt’s being a bit of a whingy baby.
Then the guys do this FUCKED thing where they gang up on Isabelle because she cried about Matt yesterday, but today wants to get to know these new guys???? Are they fucking serious? HI, LUKE, REMEMBER HOW YOU WERE READY TO BIN CASSIE FOR ISABELLE TWO DAYS AGO YA PIECE OF SHIT?
I legit wanted to punch through my TV straight into Luke’s groin. “I’m just disappointed, that’s all” – what the fuck??? This is the guy who legit had a strong crush on Isabelle to the point where he was floating dead in the pool from stress:
Hypocrisy x 1000 right here, baby. Also, if you want to talk to Isabelle about her intentions MAYBE don’t do it in a pack of bro-energy, with the guy in question right there saying nothing. I’m calling it – Matt is trash. This is the second time he’s sat back and let people bully someone he’s dating without backing them at all.
Big mood is Isabelle calling them “12 year old boys who forgot their school lunch” and saying it’s really unattractive how they’re bitching on about her daring to find another guy interesting. SLOW CLAP.
Anyway fuck all of these guys. Then Cassie gets a text, as does Anna. They’re going on dates in the driveway, too.
It doesn’t seem like Cassie or Anna vibe with Todd/Blake – Anna tells Blake point blank that she’s happy with Josh, while Cassie tells Luke when she returns that she’ll keep getting to know Todd, but she doesn’t seem that interested tbh.
Everyone goes to bed. In the morning everyone realises it’s Halloween so the guys scare the shit out of people by wearing horrible gold masks.
Fun fact I once punched a friend’s boyfriend in the face because he jump-scared me with a Scream mask on, so. They best be thankful I wasn’t in the villa.
Matt and Isabelle chat – she says after all the drama of last night, she feels like her walls are up again and she’s tapping out. Fair fucking enough, I say. Matt, the pissy baby, mumbles “pretty weak” and she goes “that’s fine if you think that”, because this woman is a queen who isn’t taking the guilt trip.
I know I’m getting really hung up on this but like, can Matt NOT be such a dick? She went on a forced date with a dude, and she kinda liked him. Okay, I get that Matt feels insecure because of that but letting the guys gang up on her and accusing her of being fake wasn’t fair. I too would be tapping out tbh.
Then there’s a nonsensical game where the guys and girls have to guess what percentage of the public think things about their respective relationships. Except also, for no reason at all, they have to pole dance for a bit while thinking.
The boys talk to Jessie/Isabelle/Cassie, blah blah I don’t give a shit? Who cares, couple up already – also someone for the love of god give this stray cat a CUDDLE. Best content of the night.
Then it’s time for Blake and Todd to couple up. Blake chooses Isabelle because he found her easy to get along with. Matt looks like a bird shat directly into his mouth and then the producers made him swallow it for content.
We’re left on a cliffhanger – is Todd gonna choose Jessie? Cassie? Someone else with ie at the end of their name who has been hiding in the bushes this whole time, having a flirty whisper conversation with him?
WE WILL FIND OUT.