Netflix’s Love Hard is a cute Christmas rom-com with an unconventionally attractive lead (who’s also Asian!!) and some great performances. But, beyond that, I can’t stop thinking about how it glorifies catfishing.
In case you haven’t seen it, the film follows Natalie Bauer (Nina Dobrev), an LA writer who flies across the US to surprise a man named Josh she’s met on a dating app, after just two weeks of chatting to each other.
When she arrives at Josh’s front door, she realises he’s not who he appears to be. The man she knows as Josh is actually Tag (Darren Barnet) and the real Josh (Jimmy O. Yang) lives in his parents’ basement. Oof.
Natalie ends up faking her relationship with Josh to his family while pursuing a relationship with Tag (and with Josh’s help). Chaos ensues as Josh proposes to her to one-up his competitive brother. Then, everything comes crashing down when his parents organise a surprise engagement party at Tag’s family’s restaurant.
During all this, Natalie and Josh learn more about each other and start to bond. After the pair get “engaged”, Josh’s grandmother (who is the best character, ngl) drags them to a nursing home to give advice on making a dating profile.
There, Josh comes to an epiphany and admits that while we all fabricate things about our dating profiles, for lonely people, it’s a slippery slope to catfishing online. And, ultimately, that leads to heartbreak for everyone involved.
“You’re not just fooling yourself,” he says, as Natalie looks at him from behind.
“There’s someone else on the other side of that lie falling in love with a version of you that doesn’t exist. And that’s not fair because the only way it ends for them is disappointment.
“And the only way it ends for you is heartbreak.”
Jimmy O. Yang crushes this speech from Love Hard that perfectly explains the slippery slope that leads some lonely people to start catfishing online — but it also unequivocally states why it is never ok. pic.twitter.com/9amLcTYd6v
— Netflix (@netflix) November 9, 2021
Like the formula of all romantic comedies past, present and future, Natalie eventually falls for Josh. But only after she comes across his real and authentic dating profile does she fly all the way back to town again to confess her love for him with an embarrassingly camp homage to that vom-worthy card scene with Kiera Knightley and Andrew Lincoln in Love Actually.
I’m not gonna lie here, I’m torn on the way this film explores catfishing and what it’s really trying to say. On one hand, the ending clearly is the writers Danny Mackey and Rebecca Ewing‘s way of saying you have to be authentic with yourself to find true love. But then, you can’t overlook the fact he manipulated her to get here – even if she flew all the way to see Josh without communicating it. Throughout any of the few romantic moments between Josh and Natalie, my friends and I had to stop and think, “remember, he catfished her“.
It almost encourages the act of it and rewards people who do it. Sure, Josh ultimately ends up being truthful online (and is then rewarded for it), but he and Nat wouldn’t have met if he didn’t lie. Yes, everything he said in their text convos came from his own heart, but Natalie was equally as physically attracted to the man she assumed at that point was behind those words.
It kinda gives me Cinderella vibes for an incel (Cincelrella, if you will). This man who’s unconventionally attractive previously made a profile with photos of him holding an axe, wrench, and rope, and confessed that no woman likes him. He finally shows his true personality online and is rewarded with a hot girl. As someone who has been catfished, I’m not sure how I feel about that narrative.
Anyway, you can come to your own conclusions on this and catch Love Hard on Netflix.
