Lizzo, a ray of sunshine, has shared a tale as old as time: drunkenly sliding into the DMs of a very hot guy on Instagram. The hot guy? Captain America himself, Chris Evans. Who among us? Etc, etc.
Imagine receiving a drunk DM from Lizzo. Imagine sending a drunk DM to Chris Evans. Imagine Chris Evans responding to your drunk DM. Beautiful stuff. Anyway, Lizzo posted a screenshot of the DM on her TikTok and it is surprisingly quite PG (I think) for a boozy direct message.
“Don’t drink and DM, kids…. for legal porpoises this is a joke,” she captioned the TikTok from over the weekend.
Don’t drink and DM, kids…. for legal porpoises this is a joke
The DM, according to the screenshot, included just three emojis: a puff of smoke, a handball player throwing a ball, and a basketball.
“The reason I’m upset about this one is because I know I’m not gonna be able to marry him, and honestly, it hurts me to the core,” Lizzo lip-synced to the audio from TikTok fave Tatayanna Mitchell.
“Because damn papa, he a rare breed, no comparing. Like, Chris…”
Damn papa, indeed.
If you thought that’s where the story ends, think again, because Chris actually replied. The blokes I drunk DM’d back in the day never replied to me, those bitches.
“No shame in a drunk DM,” Chris wrote with a kissy face (!) emoji. “God knows I’ve done worse on this app lol.”
Pray tell, Christopher.
Lizzo and Chris follow each other on Instagram now, by the way. I love it when stories have happy endings.
Lizzo’s reaction is everything, so it’s safe to say Chris Evans is her fave Hollywood Chris, hey?
Back in 2019, the Marvel star retweeted Lizzo’s video of a kid dancing along to Juice.
“Wow marry me,” Lizzo tweeted in response.
Marry me, Chris.
To conclude: here is a not at all awkward video of Chris Evans (and a bunch of other actors) reading out the lyrics to Truth Hurts for W Magazine.
Very much here for Awkwafina, who just straight-up sang the song instead of doing a dramatic reading.