Ppl Online Share Letters To Future Selves To Counter Hell Boring ‘Bachie’ Ones

It’s Bachie time again, guys! We’re here, hanging out online, figuring out what we think about Honey Badger and the girl he’s almost definitely not still dating.

Badge is there on the screen saying it’s been a “crazy ride“, and he’s “met some proper good sorts“. He speaks like my dad!

All seven of the gang are going on a ’50s-themed date to a bowling alley.

First an important question:

And then there’s some fair criticism of Nick’s horrible look that he calls Chaci, featuring a dumb arse man bun.

The hairdo is no good, no matter what Sophie says. I mean even Osher is upset.

It’s okay though, Brittany and her sense of humour are happy to tell it like it is: she reckons he looks like Chewy the (handsome) alpaca.

The central conceit of this game is that if you get a strike you get to hang out in a fake Cadillac talking about your future with Nick, with Nick. *bowls a gutter ball on purpose*

Brooke nails it immediately because she’s the sporty one, but it means she’s had the most one-on-one time with everyone’s beau, so they’re all bandying together to stop that shit rn.

Sophie gets a strike too! And before Brooke gets to talk about her feelings. Too bad, so sad.

All the girls are informed they’ll be writing letters to their future selves about where they imagine they’ll be in ten years.

Dasha is still upset about how bowling reminds her of her son who she has not been able to be with for however many weeks, cries.

Anyway, everyone pretty much cries reading these letters, it’s a lot of mush about love and happiness, and for Dasha, her SMALL CHILD, until Britt takes the piss out of the whole exercise.

At the very least it spurred our little Bachie community online to think real hard about where we see ourselves in ten years:


Anyway, because she did not just gush about falling in love and instead demanded good sex for life, Brittany scored the one-on-one time and it was at a chocolate shop.

The internet had war flashbacks.

They have a snog, she talks about their genuine happiness, he loves that she’s funny but can speak meaningfully when she has to, aww, lovely.


Bach and Sophie – a “great bird” with a “good smile” who “loves having a go at everything” – go ice-skating at my childhood shopping mall. They end up playing ice hockey where either way the prize is a snog and a polar bear so it feels weird to watch them get this competitive this quickly.

Because we’re here we can’t help thinking about the stupid butterfly whiteboard that led us to this extremely boring place.

People have noted a fun common feature of tonight’s proceedings:

Yet again somehow she knew she’d need tiny swimwear, is back at the Badgelor Pad having some champers in a spa, when the aqua sex happens. Not before he compliments her for the exact same attributes he complimented Britt about earlier: she’s a larrikin, able to say how she feels when necessary!

Anyway time for a cocktail party: Cass takes Bach away to play ukulele and literally sing that he wants to be inside of her, which is a bit much.

Dasha also spends time alone with Nick, showing him pictures of her son because the kid was already on the top of her mind, let’s just be honest about it okay?

We finish the night with a tiny baby rose ceremony and anticlimactic goodbye to Emily who has had pretty much no screen time this episode, and to Dasha, who was dumped because she has a kid and is obviously going to prioritise him over Nick. SURPRISE.

She leaves in the most lovely mature way possible, and everyone is chuffed with the compliment. Show’s over, hometown visits to go.

You can apply to vie for a man’s heart YOURSELF on the next season of The Bachelor HERE.

Until tomorrow…