Lara Bingle is a person. That insignificant little factoid is something we tend to forget.
The high profile relationships. The leaked topless pictures. Magazine covers and swimsuit spreads. Reality tv roles. The social pages and paparazzi snaps… A steady consumption of Lara Bingle’s exploits – both professional and personal – are unavoidable for anyone with a working set of baby blues.
Whether by the mystical forces of the Paparazzi Chakra or because she is an inexplicably fascinating person, the girl is everywhere.
Few media outlets have been as committed to cross-pollinating the merest snifter of Bingle-related activity to the masses than The Daily Telegraph.
Endless inches (column inches that is) have been dedicated to almost daily news pieces on Lara. This week, however, The Telegraph’s entertainment-gossip section Sydney Confidential declared a month-long ban of reporting on the ubiquitous Sydney model.
News of the Bingle Ban came via an article titled Lara Bingle officially off limits for one month. Why the ban? Well, it seems Confidential are pissed about her mutually beneficial friendship with Darren Lyons, head of one of the pap agencies she is ceaselessly hounded by.
They wrote: “For the past five years, Bingle has courted the media at every turn – and she has been well rewarded for doing so… Fawcett (a paparazzo Bingle is pursuing an AVO against) and others have found Bingle’s new friendship and association with Darren Lyons, boss of rival agency BIG, a bit rich. She and Lyons have gone into the restaurant business together and his agency often, it seems, has exclusive photo access to the model.”
“And so because Confidential has had our fill of Bingle for the moment – and because we would like to encourage our pap friends to move on – we have decided to introduce the Bingle Ban, effective from today for one month.”
A Bingle Ban might actually be a good idea for Confidential. For one, it’ll give readers a vaycay from negligible Bingle bulletins every time they open the paper and allow the Telegraph to dedicate entertainment coverage to Suri Cruise and former reality tv personalities; and that will make one less rag for Lara to be concerned with. It’s a positive, win-win decision for everyone right?
Mm well with that said, it’s weird that Sydney Confidential would make a big deal over banning her by announcing it instead of straight-up implementing it; not to mention they are still profiting from her profile by directing people to a host of other Bingle-related coverage on the website:
If you want to slay a dragon you don’t usually offer him a match.
Truth be told, the deal Lara brokered with Mister BIG, Darren Lyons, would make any local media source flex their proverbial claws. No more exclusives because one dude’s getting all the gnarly tip offs? Fuck that. The gal wants to file papers against a photog because she’s constantly out in public? Gimme a break… And like the Confidential article said: “Lara Bingle knows full well the value of a photograph. She knows it can raise one’s profile, it can create some media buzz and, here’s the clincher, it can help one model get the edge over another at a casting call.”
As much as we’d like to believe the Bingle-flooded media is a result of some supremely well-oiled machine orchestrated by Lara chilling in the conductor’s chair, when Pedestrian interviewed her recently, she gave a little more insight into what it’s like to be a living, breathing piece of paparazzo catnip:
“They’re outside my house most days. I used to get frustrated but now I understand that I have a job, they have a job, and it’s just… it’s just that. I guess now when I’m launching something like this (her collaboration with ROC Eyewear) I kind of need everyone to come together and I understand now and I never used to realise this, but everyone has a job and everyone works together, and as much as I get frustrated and embarrassed I just have to kind of… suck it up I guess.”
A few months ago Pedestrian co-founder Oscar Martin was speed boating on the Sydney Harbour with Lara Bingle and a few mates (don’t get me started on the ridiculousness of that statement). Evidently media got wind that Lara was out on the Harbour because the crew soon found themselves the victims of a paparazzi chase-by-boat. Oscar took some footage on his phone that I just found. Check it out…
Ultimately the dude got the shot (see below). And, as usual, the story – albeit one entirely barren of substance – got national coverage:
Photo by Rohan Kelly Source: The Daily Telegraph via The Courier Mail
No wonder The Telegraph’s entertainment journos are pissed at Lara. She’s enforced a monopoly on one of their most valuable meal tickets: herself.
With 25 more Bingle-free days to go, it is the Telegraph – not Lara – who’ll end up hurting from the Bingle Ban.