Kyle Sandilands To Pen Memoir

I never thought I would wish the death of print but this is going to be the worst. Shock jock and all around cock, Kyle Sandilands, is going to write his autobiography (with the help of a ghostwriter nonetheless) for the two people who really want to read it (hint: they’re Kyle and Jackie O). is reporting that the as yet untitled memoir will reveal the warts-and-all, rags-to-gold-plated-rags account of Sandilands life thus far, including his Scandal’us marriage to Tamara Jaber from POPST*RS (isn’t that how they wrote it?) and his feuds with everybody with a brain Rove McManus.

After receiving a lukewarm reception from publishers last year (read: no one wanted to touch the thing with a gold-plated rag on the end of a gold-plated mic), an anonymous source is now claiming that there are two publishers seriously considering the pitch a second time around, with the project about three weeks away from confirmation and with an end of the year release date in mind.

That’s just in time for Christmas, allowing – nay, blessing – us all with the ability to give the gift of Kyle to the “fat slag, bullshit artist or troll” you really, truly hate.

Title Image by Ryan Pierse via Getty