Pornhub Gave Kumail Nanjiani A 10 Year Premium Subscription, Which Is A Lot Of 4K Fucking

kumail nanjiani pornhub

Actor and absolute machine Kumail Nanjiani has been given 10 years of free PornHub thanks to his viral body transformation and workout photo.

In the lead up to his upcoming role in The Eternals, Kumail posted a photo of his impressive physique late last year, which promptly went viral because… jacked.

View this post on Instagram

I never thought I’d be one of those people who would post a thirsty shirtless, but I’ve worked way too hard for way too long so here we are. You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I found out a year ago I was going to be in Marvel’s Eternals and decided I wanted to transform how I looked. I would not have been able to do this if I didn’t have a full year with the best trainers and nutritionists paid for by the biggest studio in the world. I’m glad I look like this, but I also understand why I never did before. It would have been impossible without these resources and time. So big thanks to @grantrobertsfit who started working with me at the beginning of the year and made me understand true physical pain for months and months. Then, once we started shooting, a massive thanks to @davidhigginslondon and his team (@ellispartridge, @thebeardypt, @tomcheesemanfitness) for training me almost every day and making me strong, limber and injury free. I can almost touch my toes now. (And thank you for forcing me to do cheat meals David.) Matthews Street Catering for their delicious and healthy meals. And finally, the biggest thanks goes to @emilyvgordon for putting up with me complaining and talking about only working out and dieting for the last year. I promise I’ll be interesting again some day. #thirstyshirtless (Photo by @markupson.) (edit: I left off one very important person: @lancecallahan who trained me for 6 years and helped me build the foundation I could use to do this. Thank you!)

A post shared by @ kumailn on  

The primarily comedic actor blew everyone’s fucking mind when he revealed his incredible fitness transformation, prompting the photo to be used on the Pornhub website.

But obviously, they weren’t just going to use his photo and give him nothing in return. Like any good sexual encounter, you give some, you get some.

And get some he did, in the form of a ten-year premium subscription to the site, which is a whole lot of porn.

“They gave me a 10-year free subscription to Pornhub Premium,” he told Conan O’Brien. “I will say, because people are like, ‘Why do you need to pay for porn?’ — and I don’t, I do not work for Pornhub, they have not paid me to say this — you have access to a whole new world.”

“Free porn is good but when you go to Premium… I could develop fetishes, crazy ones over the next 10 years and I know I’ll be taken care of.”

After some extensive research that will likely have whoever is monitoring my work computer thinking I’m getting dangerously horny in the office, I learned that for the measly price of $9.99 per month, you can be opened up to a whole new world of porn.

You get an improved video library, with even more content than the seemingly-endless list of free videos. You can also watch in glorious 4K Ultra HD, if you’re into seeing that ‘d’ in HD.

But if a 4K schlong isn’t immersive enough, you can also use their VR function, which I imagine is the closest thing you can get to sex without actually having to interact with another human being.

So if you’re wondering what Kumail Nanjiani is doing in his spare time now that The Eternals filming has wrapped up, he’s probably watching some 4K hanky panky.

I didn’t need to know that Kumail Nanjiani had ten years worth of free porn, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.