Yunice Abbas, also known as the guy who robbed Kim Kardashian in Paris alongside 11 other armed men, has written a book, and in the process of promoting it, claims he had no idea who TF Kim K was. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

The 67-year-old was arrested in 2017 (which seems like yonks ago), and is accused of stealing $10M worth of jewellery, including a $4M engagement ring from Kim K while she was in her Paris apartment for Fashion Week.

His book, titled J’ai Séquestré Kim Kardashian, or I Kidnapped Kim Kardashian, is currently in its promotional stages, with a single excerpt being released so far. It’s the tell-all recount of the entire operation, from what they did to why, and IDK about you but that sounds real fkn interesting.

In an interview with Paris Match, Yunice Abbas revealed that he genuinely didn’t know who Kim K was, until the next day when it was all across the news.

“My mate… who put me on the job, had simply told me the victim was the wife of a famous rapper. I didn’t want to know more at that stage,” he said.

“I regret what I did and not because I was caught! For victims, it’s always violent even if we thought we were being gentle.”

He even gave details as to how he pretty much knew that he would eventually be caught, and that someone from Kim K’s inner circle tipped the gang as to where she was, and what they could potentially steal.

“I was under no illusions. I understood we’d be caught,” he said.

“There was too much pressure, we weren’t prepared enough. We didn’t know it would make this much noise.

“It went fast, maybe five, six, seven minutes, from entry to exit, because everything went smoothly. Nobody interfered, the victim handed over the jewels without resistance.”

And the excerpts from the book are just as wild. Please have a gander at some of them.

“Our two beauties stubbornly tried to call 911… the emergency call number for the US. Not very efficient when you are in Paris,” he writes.

Abbas also recalls the moment he saw Kim K’s phone receive a call from Tracey Chapman, yes, the singer of ‘Fast Car’ Tracey Chapman, mid-heist.

“At the moment that I heard a police car, the sound of the phone made me jump. To my incredulous eyes [Chapman’s] name appeared on the phone’s screen. It’s not possible. I must be hallucinating,” he wrote.

If you need me I’m going to start writing my own book. What will it be on? I don’t know yet, but it looks like anyone can do it these days.

Image: Getty Images / Jacopo Raule, Marc Piasecki