Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from husband Kris Humphries after being married for 72 days. It was confirmed by entertainment tv producer Ryan Seacrest during his national radio show.
This was all news to Kris, a professional NBA player, who claimed the news came as a shock. The devoted Christian released the following statement: “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce … I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”
The divorce announcement comes as no great shock to the rest of us after suspicions that the marriage was a hoax anyway. Let’s face it, the fact Humphries’ first name started with a letter ‘K’ – the same spelling as Kim’s pimp mother – seemed a strangely convenient fit with the Kardashian family branding.
Kim’s fat ass got paid millions of dollars for the publicity around the wedding, including her televised wedding special Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event and a bunch of other shit. The event pulled in a total of approximately $17.95 million.
The cake they served was a $20,000 Hansen’s Bakery wedding cake they got for free. Now the only thing getting served is divorce papers.
In other news, Kim Kardashian is in Australia to attend the Melbourne Cup and promote the Kardashian handbag line for David Jones. Look out fellas – she’s single!
