Look, we know there’s a shit-tonne happening at the moment in the ~entertainment world~, re: Taylor Swift v. Scooter Braun but mates, PART TWO of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians season finale dropped and Jesus H Christ, Khloé did not hold back.
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If you’re reading this, we’re going to assume you’re up to date so let’s get straight to it.
Right after the Tristan Thompson x Jordyn Woods shitshow broke the internet, Khloé was initially “quiet” and “numb.” Her seemingly stoic reaction drew concern from Kim, Kourtney, and Malika so, to get away from it all, they flew to Palm Springs…
…and then all the shit hit the fan.
“Fuck these hoes,” Khloé exclaimed over dinner.
“How everyone told me how aggressive and crazy I am? I’m gonna go back to the old Khlo-money,” she said. “For True, I don’t want to act like that but also for True, I want people to be fucking afraid.”
Then, in a call with matriarch Kris Jenner, Khloé said she was done holding back.
“This is too fucking wack that these fucking bitches think they can go ahead and fuck our men,” she said. “Mum, they’re gonna try and fuck your man in a second.”
Kim chimed in, saying: “We’re not doing this the Kris Jenner way anymore.”
Things just got worse when Khloé FaceTimed Tristan’s good mate Savas, who claimed the dickhead said he didn’t actually kiss Jordyn – which if you watched last week’s episode, is a big ol’ lie.
“LIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR,” Khloé actually yelled. “No, no, no, but don’t fucking say you didn’t do something that you fucking did when you both fucking told me you fucking kissed bitches.”
Big fooken yikes.
Also in the phone call: “Tristan! Fuck you if you can hear me. Fuck you!”
Oh, and then Khloé found out about the Red Table Talk interview and WOOF.
“I talked to you about the first time Tristan cheated on me. I confided in you,” she said of Jordyn in a phone call with Kris.“Like my world got destroyed while Jordyn is doing press interviews about it. Who the fuck do you think you are?”
Kris absolutely did not help the situation when she told her daughter that host, Jada Pinkett Smith, had informed her about the interview the night before.
“I’m your daughter. Look what they’re doing to us. They’re fucking with us.”
When the dust had… sort of settled, Khloé faced the cold hard reality.
“There’s no amount of phone calls or apology text messages that is ever gonna repair Tristan and my relationship,” she said in a family meeting. “The humiliation and the hurt that he has caused myself, my family and True… I don’t know what self-respecting human being could ever take someone back.”
You can cop the gist of the season finale below.
