Plz Stop Calling Kendall Jenner Preggers, Says She “Just Likes Bagels OK!!”

Since we reported this morning on the possibility that four – count it, FOUR – members of the Kardashian klan may be up the duff, Kendall Jenner has come out to bat away pregnancy rumours directed at her because she dared to take a mirror selfie where she appeared to be the owner of what those in the medical profession call a ‘stomach’.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BdTKxfVDYFO/

Yep, she’s gone straight to the source, Twitter, where she quoted MTV Australia‘s story on the rumours, and added the deflection: “i just like bagels ok!!!

I’m convinced. For who among us is not harbouring a bagel bae after all the good cheer (née ‘eating of Christmas ham’) of the holidays. I, for my part, have brought three beautiful turkey-children into the world.

Jenner also posted to Instagram a picture captioned “MY BABY“, thus revealing the identity of her true child.

It’s her car, guys.

To survive this grave disappointment, it pays to remember the tidings of comfort and joy we have already received: there are two 100% konfirmed Kardashian kids on the way – Khloe is six months pregnant with her boyfriend Tristan Thompson, while Kim is expecting her third child with Yeezy via a surrogate.

The rumours have not let up re: Kylie Jenner either, who has not yet confirmed the widely held suspicion that she is with child. It certainly doesn’t help that Kourtney chucked another Kardashian Khristmas photo on Insta earlier today, yet again sans the elusive Kylie.

WHERE IS SHE? It’s a mystery for the ages.

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