Katy Perry dropped her new album Smile on Friday, and it’s a fun collection of bangers and bops, but we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here to talk about her new animated video for the song ‘Tucked‘, which may be one of the horniest things I’ve ever seen on the internet, and I’ve seen a lot of weird, extremely horny shit in my time.
Where do we even start? The video, which is animated in a retro comic book style, is about a woman named Dotty who is married to a sexy stick of broccoli. They have a cute suburban home and two adorable half-human, half-broccoli kids, and the logistics of that are certatainly confusing, but this ride is about to get wilder.
We soon find out that Dotty is lusting after her neighbour, a sexy, shirtless chunk of hard candy with muscular human arms and legs. The two of them are carrying out an illicit affair behind broccoli man’s back, and we see their untamed lust play out in the sky, where horny candy constellations grind on each-other crotch-to-ass and jizz out streams of stardust.
Dotty’s husband starts to suspect something’s up when she comes home with chunks of sweet treat in her hair the next morning, after getting fucked real good by their candy neighbour. That night, he follows her to a motel, and in a twist that had me absolutely screaming …
… Dotty’s husband and her toy boy are so overcome with mutual attraction that they end up fucking right in front of her, as the muscular candy man spanks his pert, green ass cheeks, and she watches from the bed, writhing in ecstasy.
At the end, we discover that all of this is Dotty’s sex dream, when she wakes up hot and bothered next to her sleeping broccoli husband. It’s … honestly a lot.
Katy Perry did not have to go this hard with this video, but I’m so glad she did, and in the same week that Jerry Falwell Jr was exposed by his horny pool boy, no less. It’s sexy AND topical, and I will probably think about it every day until I die.
