I’ve been sick with that heinous flu that’s smogging up the Sydney air, which has meant 10 days straight of TV and couch time. It’s also meant a big binge of Kath & Kim, so I feel I’m somewhat of an expert on our Fountain Lakes crew.
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Everyone knows Kim Craig is a notoriously self-centred bitch, and it’s why we (and long-suffering husbo Brett) love her. But when re-watching the series I remembered some truly glorious moments where Kim’s bitchiness was just *kissy fingers*. God bless Gina Riley, she’s a bloody genius.
1. When She’s A Corporate Wife
Kim “helps” Brett get a promotion at work by showing up to a soiree in what she envisions to be a corporate wife outfit (“if it’s not Dotti or Witchery, don’t talk to me!”) to charm his colleagues. Except her idea of charming people is by pointing to some stray cups and yelling at Brett’s boss “Mess over here! Not a good look!” and demanding people get her a CARdonnay. When she’s corrected on her pronunciation of Chardonnay, she utters the famous like “Chardonnay! Chardonnay! You pack of CHUNTS!”
Glorious stuff.
2. When She Eats The Last Billabong
Poor Sharon, nothing goes right.
3. When Her Happy Hormones Kick In
Who can forget THAT IKEA trip in Kath & Kim, where Kim goes on and on about her happy pregnancy hormones having kicked in, then immediately yells at a mum for having her pram across the aisle.
4. When She Hates Her Eggplant Vestibule
Kim & Brett’s renovations go off to a great (not) start when Brett – at the insistence of Kim, and against his own wishes – paints the vestibule “eggplant”. -Except he takes eggplant to be a yolk yellow, not purple. Kim loses her shit and has a massive tanty, only to come around to the colour later when she decides her pink pouffes look great with the colour.
5. When She Gets Pissed That Sharon Finds A New Mate
How GOOD is the reunion episode! After years of treating her second best friend Sharon like shit, Sharon finally stands up to Kim and becomes besties with old school mate Lisa-Marie – leading to a showdown at their high school reunion, where Kim wants to storm off but Sharon wants to stay.
Eventually Sharon does come back to Kim. Also let’s not forget the amazing accidental pirate outfit Kim sports.
6. When She Won’t Let Sharon Have A Yowie
They patched things up when Sharon told Kim she’ll make a great mum, but come on Kim – give the woman a Yowie.
7. When She Shat All Over Brett’s Flowers
Poor Brett.
8. When She Loses It At Sharon Over Her Joke Baby Gift
I don’t think there’s a purer example of Kim’s complete assholery than when Sharon gives her that little baby teether. Kim’s meltdown and confiscation of godmother duties leads to Sharon showing Kim her REAL gift – a very expensive baby play pen filled with soft toys. And STILL Kim says she’ll “think” about the godmother role.
Perfect Kim areas.
