Christ-a-fuck-alive. As the Christmas season hurtles towards us and you end up locked in a room with your nearest and dearest, chugging Prosecco to deal with the sheer hell of it, be thankful that your fam isn’t as shitty as one Kanye West‘s.
“I had a cousin that stole my laptop that I was fucking bitches on. Paid that n*gga 250 thousand just to get it from him. Real friends… huh?”
The reference also crops up in ‘No More Parties In L.A.‘:
“And as far as real friends, tell all my cousins I love ‘em, even the one that stole the laptop, you dirty motherfucker.”
And now the full story is coming out. Kanye’s cousin – a *different* cousin, mind – told the Daily Mail that this whole thing went down four years ago after Ye lent his laptop to a family member, and that friend lent it to another family member, and that family member decided to get his grubby little hands on some cash.
“I was at my aunt’s house when the family member who had the laptop called me, a friend of his, and my uncle to the kitchen where he opened the laptop to show a video of Kanye in clear view having sex with a fair-skinned black woman,” said cousin Lawrence Franklin, 31.
“The family member knew what he had was gold, and later called an old friend of his that was an attorney. He put together a small team him and his attorney went after Kanye, and to show that they meant business they leaked a little information publicly to let it be know they indeed had the footage.
“The family member tried to keep a low profile but it was not long before Kanye’s team learned who it was that had the sex tape.”
Franklin says that Ye – who started dating Kim Kardashian in late 2012 – lawyered up, and was eventually able to secure the sex tape by paying $250k to his deadshit cousin.
“The sex tape episode started his decline – he stopped trusting people,” he said. At the end of the day if a member of your family had taken you for a quarter of a million dollars – so they can complete their own ambitions – who can you trust within your circle? This was also around the time when his mother has just died and he takes a lot of responsibility for that.
“When you go from being a regular person to being a huge star – and having all of these mounting issues and being completely void of the normalcy that you once had – it’s tough. Where do you go? Who do you trust at the end of the day?”
Seriously. Fuck that cousin.
