Like any normal person, I have a list in my head of celebrities that I believe I could beat in a fight. For me, Tom Cruise is not on that list. This is not the case for Justin Bieber, who apparently reckons he would have at least a fighting chance against the Scientologist pocket rocket.

Because this is the time we live in now, Bieber has hopped on Twitter (read: dictated to an assistant) to challenge Cruise to some sort of UFC match in The Octagon.

While this seems extremely unlikely to eventuate, at least we know that, if it does, it will be because of Conor McGregor:

If this story doesn’t have enough moving parts and onscreen characters already, McGregor used this as an opportunity to follow in Bieber’s footsteps and challenge Mark Wahlberg to a fight on the same card:

We’ve become oversaturated with celebrity beefs, but I for one encourage a future where they are played out as a form of gladiatorial combat.

Image: Getty Images / Bauer-Griffin/GC Images