For The Love Of God, Sign This Petition To Make Judith Lucy The Next ‘Bachelorette’

Whatever it is you’re doing right now – really, it could be literally anything – we can guarantee it’s not nearly as important as what we’re about to tell you: There is, as we speak, a rapidly growing petition calling for Channel Ten officials to do what is clearly the only right and good thing by having comedy icon Judith Lucy installed as the next Bachelorette. It’s a petition of vital importance. You simply must sign it.

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The petition went up just a few short hours ago and has already attracted in excess of 1,700 signatures at the time of writing.

The petition itself was started after a suggestion from a talkback caller during an interview on ABC Radio with Virginia Trioli yesterday. According to the petition’s creator, Lucy is somewhat miffed by its existence – and the notion that she’d be an ideal fit for Bachelorette – but she’s letting it happen nonetheless.

As per the petition description, Lucy – who just completed touring her latest stand-up show Judith Lucy vs Men where she laid bare her “somewhat lacklustre dating history” – would be a “relatable, but revolutionary, presence on a television dating show.”

“Time to get this woman back in the game with some quality Aussie blokes. They’ll be lining up – and at their age they’re probably not even trawling for Insta followers!”

“Judith is an utterly compelling woman who is not only funny, but deeply caring and kind. And imagine how fascinating the coterie of men interested in this Aussie icon would be!”

At 51-years-old, Judith Lucy wouldn’t exactly be the most “conventional” Bachelorette Australia’s ever seen. But lord almighty would she be the most entertaining.

Imagine her, comfortably resting in some sort of gilded throne, tearing verbal strips off a parade of potential suitors until she’s settled on a final class of 20-or-so.

You’d tune into that. You’d record it for later. You’d memorise that shit word-for-word.

The petition is here. You absolutely must go sign it right this very second. It’s the right thing to do.