The 2018 Eurovision Song Contest has officially begun, and the continent’s mightiest voices are crooning, warbling, and chicken-clucking their way through semi-final contention before the Grand Final on May 13. As they prepare to sing for eternal glory, punters worldwide are also planning their Eurovision parties to celebrate the whole shebang – and just like the performers, every self-respecting host has to deliver glitz, glam, and maybe a couple of outfit changes to commemorate the occasion.
It’s a lot to handle. Fortunately, SBS‘ Eurovision Song Contest host Joel Creasey spared a few minutes before his departure to Lisbon, Portugal, to share his top tips to make your party go harder than Lordi in the depths of Hell.
“Food, a wind machine, and a Eurovision bingo card,” Creasey suggested, with the confidence of a man already acquainted with the wind machine’s dramatic power.
Not like he’ll be (literally) blown all over the place when Jess Mauboy delivers her tune We Got Love, though. Creasey joins Myf Warhurst for their second year presenting the competition to Aussie audiences, meaning the closest he’ll get to partying at home is sharing his go-to drinking game with the masses.
“Drink every time there’s a key change,” Creasey said, “but I saw someone mention last year ‘drink every time Myf Warhurst mentions working for Triple J,’ and ‘drink every time Joel Creasey references The Real Housewives, which I thought was very funny.”
The infamous power ballad, a bingo card staple, also copped a spray from Creasey.
“I think if you entered a white-dress power ballad now you’d be in trouble because of the last few years,” Creasey said, referencing the genuinely progressive entries like Montenegro’s plait-swinging Slavko Kalezić and, of course, Austria’s “electric” Conchita Wurst.
Discussing Australia’s recent pedigree against those superstar acts, Creasey said we’ve put up a strong fight – and suggested a few acts he believes should make a run in 2019.
“People really like us because we bring our A-game,” Creasey said.
“We come to play, they know we’re not coming just to take up another spot. We have delivered great acts every year, Guy [Sebastian], Dami [Im], Isaiah [Firebrace], and now Jessica, every year we’ve cracked the top ten.
“We’ve got a great track record, so they’re going to expect something brilliant for us.”
Something brilliant like Tina Arena, Creasey suggested. Or a Minogue. “I’d love to see us send a Minogue just for the wow factor. Europe would be stoked to see a Minogue,” Creasey said, before turning his attention to another local legend.
“Sophie Monk can sing, and I’d just love to see her there at Eurovision backstage doing prep with the Albanian local news journo,” he said.
“I think that’d be hilarious, and I think she could win on her personality alone.”
And, when asked if Eurovision could possibly handle the 1999 winners of Popstars, Creasey admitted “I push every single day of my life to get Bardot back together.”
Before we embrace the possibility of that holy reunion, we’ll just have to make do with the absolutely gargantuan 2018 show. Creasey and Warhurst will be giving their takes for SBS, live at the Grand Final at 5am on Sunday May 13, and on replay at 7:30pm. Tune in to see if Creasey makes another Housewives reference, or if he goes off his nut during one of those seismic, glitzy, and glorious key changes.