Rollup, rollup camp queens and glitter lovers because Eurovision – Australia Decides 2022 is just around the corner. As in it’s this Saturday night on SBS, so text your friends and prep the cocktail sausages for your viewing party. That’s right, we’re picking our Eurovision finalist and host Joel Creasey spilled all the tea about what to expect.

In case you’re unfamiliar with Australia Decides (sacré bleu!), 11 Aussie artists will be competing to represent us in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

They’ll be showing down in an epic content in the Gold Coast, streamed live by SBS. From 10pm AEDT on Friday to 9.45pm on Saturday, you can text in and vote for your fave act.

Joel told PEDESTRIAN.TV that this year’s performances would be on a brand new stage, which he described as “stunning”.

“It’s a spectacular live show,” he said.

“I think that’s one thing that the Australian national final does so well. We really put on an amazing live show.”

He also shared some behind-the-scenes info about what viewers can expect from the performances.

“I think Kate Miller-Heidke [Australia’s 2019 rep] set the bar so high with her pogo pole,” Joel Creasey said.

“The artists are bringing the kook, bringing the the extravagant staging and there are some epic vocals.”

Look, that’s my three favourite things right there. Joel also reckoned there’s no clear front-runner this year, so the comp is set to be especially spicy.

If you haven’t been prepping your earholes for Saturday night, here’s a handy guide to all the competitors.

There’s Isaiah Firebrace and Evie Irie withWhen I’m With You”, girl group G-NAT!ON with Bite Me”, pop star Andrew Lambrou with Electrify” and multi-media artist Jaguar Jonze with Little Fires”.

And that’s not all! Pop newcomer Charley will perform I Suck At Being Lonely”, Seann Miley Moore is competing wth My Body” and singer-songwriter Jude York with I Won’t Need to Dream”. Then there’s Voyager, a metal group from Perth withDreamer”, performance artist Sheldon Riley with Not The Same”, PAULINI withWe Are One”, and TikTok star Erica Padilla with To The Bottom”.

Much to think about, many Spotify playlists to curate.

“There’s some aerialist work happening, there’s a lot of glitter,” Joel said. As if we’d expect anything else.

“And there’s some seriously hot backing dancers, who took me by surprise yesterday when I was walking backstage … it’s going to be the camp musical Olympics we know and love.”

Is there any better combo than glitter and hot backing dancers? I think not.

Joel broke down his favourite types of Eurovision performance: the classic Scandi/Swedish pop performance and, as he put it, the “fabulous female diva with incredible choreography”. A noble choice, in my opinion.

“My favourite [Eurovision song] of all time is Eleni Foureira from Cyprus, her song “Fuego”.  I can’t even think of the last time I went to a party that wasn’t put on at least five times,” he said.

“The gays love her. I’m a huge fan of hers.”

“In terms of the Aussie entrants, I bloody love Jessica Mauboy’s “We Got Love”.

“I don’t think that got anywhere near enough love. And she was also a real delight to take [overseas]. I mean, they all have been but she was a real delight to travel with.”

Joel Creasey has hosted Eurovision with fellow Aussie legend Myf Warhurst since 2017. He broke down the game they like to play during the competition, powerfully dubbed “White Dress or Sonia Kruger“. You can tell where this is going, I’m sure.

If you’re hosting any Eurovision viewing parties this year, take a drink every time a country enters an act who’s wearing a white dress or looks like Sonia Kruger. Prepare to be absolutely blackout by the tenth performance.

Joel also gave some insight into how he and Myf prep for Australia Decides and Eurovision itself.

“We sit around, drink a couple of white wines, talk about the songs and then gossip about anything and everything,” he said.

“We’re very tight. One year we even shared a toothbrush backstage.”

Love that, though this is a message to all my co-workers: I love you, but we’re not sharing a toothbrush ever.

If you’ve never tuned in to Australia Decides or engaged in Eurovision before, Joel had sage words of advice: “Just surrender yourself to it”.

“It’s camp, it’s over the top. It’s for everybody … I’m pumped and I’m just honoured to be part of it.”

I mean, what else could you want?

You can clock SBS’s Eurovision – Australia Decides 2022 at 8.30pm AEDT on Saturday 26th February. Don’t forget your white dress and glitter!

Image: Getty Images / Chris Hyde