In last night’s episode of Bachelor in ParadiseCiarran Stott brutally dropped Jessica Brody for Paradise newcomer Kiki Morris. That’s a pretty civil way of putting it actually, because Ciarran absolutely fucked over Jessica. It was tough to watch, considering it looked like Jessica genuinely had feelings for Ciarran. But look, c’est la vie.

PEDESTRIAN.TV chatted to Jessica this morning about her time on Horny Island, here’s what she had to say.

PEDESTRIAN.TV: How did you feel going into Paradise?

Jessica: I went into Paradise with a completely open mind. I wanted to speak to all the guys in there, get to know everyone equally, and I just went in with a completely open mind.

PTV: So, did you watch last night’s episode?

J: Yeah, of course [laughs].

PTV: Thoughts, feelings, opinions?

J: Um, watching it was quite confronting. There were a lot of comments that were made behind my back that I obviously saw with everybody else last night. It was disappointing to see people behaving that way, but at the end of the day I think I dodged a bullet [laughs]. So it’s all good.

PTV: So when did you start to develop feelings for Ciarran?

J: I had that instant connection with Ciarran, we had a really strong spark from the moment we met. A lot of our chemistry was not shown on screen, so we would spend mornings listening to music together on our iPod and singing the lyrics together. We loved all the same music and there was a lot chemistry other than just the sexual chemistry you saw on screen. And so I felt like I was really excited to explore things with him from the get go, from the moment I met him.

PTV: And at the time, did you think that your relationship could progress on the outside?

J: It was still very early days so I wasn’t thinking about anything, but the day to day things could change so quickly… as you can see. So I was just taking it day by day. I was hopeful it would go the distance, that’s why I came to Paradise, but you just never know when you’re there.

PTV: And so how long were you coupled up with Ciarran before Kiki came? Was that a week?

J: It was about a week, yeah.

PTV: And during that time, did Ciarran ever mention Kiki?

J: Yeah, so, he did mention to me that he was interested in meeting Kiki and Tenille [Favios]. I had no idea they [Kiki and Ciarran] had already met on the outside, I didn’t realise that until towards the end, when it all sort of came out. And then there was a conversation that he and I had on the beach that you didn’t see where I asked him explicitly, “Am I a stepping stone until she gets here?” And he said, “No, 100%, that’s not why I’m with you. I’m spending time with you because I like you and so that’s why I was really convinced that he would still be around after their [Ciarran and Kiki’s] date.

PTV: Did you know who Kiki was?

J: No idea, I didn’t even know who Keira [Maguire] was [laughs].

PTV: Fair enough! So when Kiki and Ciarran came back from their date and then you pulled Ciarran aside before your double date, was that the only interaction you two had about the end of your relationship in Paradise?

J: Yes.

PTV: That was it?

J: Yes, so, for quite a while after Fiji as well, that was sort of the only conversation we had. I was left without much closure unfortunately.

PTV: Have you had that closure now?

J: To an extent, but not completely, because I don’t think I’ll ever get truthful answers out of Ciarran.

PTV: Do you feel like you were led on by Ciarran or manipulated by him?

J: I don’t think I was manipulated by him, but I do think I was led on. We had a date that wasn’t shown as well, there was a lot of – while I was sick, he came and took care of me. Obviously, I was very vulnerable while I was sick and he was there holding my hair back while I was vomiting and he visited me while I was in isolation. There were a lot of things that you guys didn’t see that really made me believe there was a true connection besides a physical one.

PTV: Okay, so can we talk about your chat with Renee Barrett [Ciarran’s ex-girlfriend] ‘cos I thought that was just a really solid moment in last night’s episode?

J: Yeah, so that chat actually went for a really long time. We spoke about a lot of different things, including how our friendship deteriorated prior to the show. It was just very, very big of her to come and console me when she’s going through her own pain. I had no idea about how recent her relationship [with Ciarran] was. I was under the impression they had broken up a long time prior, because I hadn’t spoken to her for months prior to filming in Fiji. So, it was interesting to lay all the cards out on the table.

J: She said to me, “If you and Ciarran are really happy together and if he comes back and he wants to be with you, I support it 100%”, and that takes a real woman to say something like that so I have nothing but respect for her.

PTV: And so what has Paradise taught you about yourself?

J: At first I thought it was that I’m gullible for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but it’s taught me that I am capable of feeling those romantic feelings and having those connections with people and I don’t have that very often in the real world. So I’m going to continue to wear my heart on my sleeve.

J: And I still maintain that the paddle board moment was the most romantic thing that has happened to me. The Notebook, but with a fuckboy [laughs].

PTV: Happens to all of us, I feel.

PTV: So, would you do Paradise again?

J: Um, I think I would. After doing Paradise once and seeing that I had the capability of having real feelings, which is something I don’t really get too often in the real world, I think it could work for me. I just need to make smarter choices of who I’m going on dates with.

PTV: And so after everything that happened, do you have any regrets about your time in Paradise?

J: I have no regrets. As painful as it was, I had far more positives than negatives. I’m so grateful for every single person I met there, including Ciarran, so no regrets at all.

PTV: And was there anything else you wanted to add?

J: I just wanted to add, and I’ve said this on my social media, it’s really important not to compare women to each other. I know it is a competition format, but at the end of the day we’re there to find love, it’s not Gladiator for women, so I think we need to lift each other up.

J: I don’t want anyone to think that they have to bully anyone else on my behalf or feel like they need to compare me to Kiki or Renee. We’re all different, independent women and we all deserve love.

Image: Network 10