First period Performance Studies is going to be especially dramatic today for the mutual friends of Jen Lawrence and Chris ‘Marto’ Martin, who will now have to decide where their group work and recess seating allegiances fall now that a private relationship in which you have some bizarre vested interest has come to an end as bitter as its beginning was sweet.
“It’s over for Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin,” gush E! in a story that – not unlike the relationship it takes as its central thesis – required the full and willing participation of two people, both of whom evidently just weren’t that into it when it came to putting in the hard work.
Like all great Summer romances, theirs was one that began in late June after Lawrence got tired of Nicholas Hoult singing ‘Killing Me Softly’ in his sleep, probably; three months prior, Chris Martin consciously uncoupled from his wife of ten years, Gwyneth Paltrow. Last week, TMZ published footage of Gwyneth Paltrow touching Chris Martin’s face inside a car – a “good sign” according to the paparazzo who shot it. Maybe don’t ask me why I know that.
In a recent interview featured in Vanity Fair’s November issue, Lawrence lay bare the criteria by which she evaluates success in an interpersonal relationship with adult benefits: “Basically, what I’m saying is all I need in a relationship is somebody to watch [reality] TV with me [who] isn’t afraid to fart in front of me.”
Now you know how Chris Martin feels about farting during Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
via E!
Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images for Clear Channel
