These past few weeks, while the world has happily gone about its business, James Franco has been hitting near-critical levels of James Franco, going off on various eccentric tangents.

He reviewed the horror movie Goodnight Mommy as his ‘reverse self’ Semaj, which is about seven Francos out of 10, then interviewed his straight self as his gay self, which is a solid eight. 

Overnight, he hit a possible nine Francos out of ten with he published an interview between his female self and his male selves

James Franco Interviews ‘Girl James Franco’, Ponders Cutting Off Own Dick 

Boy James and Girl James spoke about feminism, groupies, privilege and that time he hit up an under-age fan on Instagram, and it was everything the modern-day Franco-phile on the go could possibly hope for.

The premise was established fairly early on:

Boy James: Hi. You’re the Girl James. 

Girl James: Yes. 

BJ: You only exist on paper. 

GJ: True. But that is one of the great things about creative objects. You get to make anything you want, be anything you want. Boy, girl, alien, killer, lover, mother, brother, dog, rabbit, lion, piece of shit.

Soon after, Girl James accused Boy James of using his position of fame and notoriety to get laid, to which Boy James took exception:

BJ: Woah, woah, woah! Please, it’s not like I’m going out there throwing my fame in everyone’s face in order to meet women. 

GJ: You don’t have to, the fame and the fame-hungry world we live in does it all for you. I’m sure women are lining up on your Instagram account to meet you.

Then they got onto the subject of why dating actresses is such a drag:

BJ: Okay, well, I’ll admit that I find it easier to be with women who aren’t high profile actresses, simply because powerful actresses, like anyone with power, need to be worshipped. They demand it, and I find that that kind of obeisance in the long term is untenable. 

GJ: Right, because you want to be worshipped. 

BJ: Okay, whatever. Maybe I am high maintenance. 

GJ: And I think a lot of that has to do with feeling like you are owed something because you are male.

The corker came near the end:

BJ: Well, what can I do? I am a man! How can I help other than take on women’s issues, collaborate with women on my films, teach women, be directed by women? 

GJ: You could cut your dick off. 

BJ: Cut my dick off, hmmmm…Yes, I guess I could. But wouldn’t that just look like a publicity stunt? 

GJ: Cut it off, and don’t tell anyone. 

BJ: Then everyone would still consider me a man. 

GJ: Well, who decides? You or what everyone else thinks? 

BJ: I guess I do. 

GJ: Okay, then cut your dick off and call yourself a woman.

You can read the whole interview, which also includes a poem called ‘Hello Woman’, over on i-d.