This week on “Story I Never Thought I’d Be Writing”, YouTuber Jake Paul thinks popular 00s rapper Soujla Boy is scared to fight him. Do you need a minute to let that sink in? I sure do.

Jake Paul, aka the most problematic man on YouTube, allegedly wants to fight Soulja Boy (real name DeAndre Cortez Way) in a celebrity boxing match to “revive his career” and give him clout, according to Hot New Hip Hop.

“But Soulja Boy needs something to revive his career right now and this could be it. I think he’s stupid if he doesn’t do the fight and he’s all talk.” Paul said, adding that he thinks the fight would be good publicity. “I grew up a Soulja Boy fan and, so after I knocked him out, I’d be like, ‘Yo, respect. Let’s do a song together, bro!'”

Paul also had confidence oozing out of every orifice of his body when discussing the fight, making it abundantly clear that he didn’t “think people would expect him to win.”

In his day, Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em was iconic. If you didn’t know the Soulja Boy dance, you probably weren’t very cool in school. This guy was the king.

He was the man that made an entire career for himself by rorting the system on Limewire and uploading Crank That under the names of other popular artists, effectively tricking your unsuspecting neighbourhood Britney Spears fan into downloading his rap beats. And now, Jake Paul reckons he’d beat him in a fight.

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More recently, Soulja Boy has found himself caught up in a bunch of scandals including a recent jail stint, and whatever the fuck the SouljaGame was. According to his Twitter bio, he is currently the CEO of SouljaStore, which is a weird marketplace for knock-off “SouljaPods”, weed grinders and tacky jewellery.

He’s not exactly relevant right now, but I think he still holds enough star-power to stage his own comeback sans-Jake Paul.

But Soulja Boy has also been teasing us with the concept of a boxing career for years now, he even wanted to punch on with Chris Brown back in 2017, but no fight ever took place.

Honestly, I’d pay good money to see Jake Paul get his ass handed to him by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. But in the mean time, here’s Crank That.