Welp, it’s officially that time again: Australian TV’s Night Of Nights™, in the form of the 56th Logie Awards, is scheduled to go down tonight at Melbourne’s Crown Palladium, or on Channel 9 from 7:30pm if watching Jason Derulo in a casino isn’t your idea of Sunday night entertainment.
That means you have yet several hours to gather your friends and intoxicants around you and get familiar with the rules of Pedestrian’s Super Unofficial Logies Drinking Game! Remember: rule breakers should be publicly shamed, and we accept no responsibility for anything that happens, ever. Read on:
Take a drink
– Every time Hamish Blake and/or Andy Lee appear onscreen
– Every time a prediction is made about Karl Stefanovic‘s likely mental state on tomorrow’s Today show
– Every time a red carpet reporter asks anyone “What are you wearing?” in an awkward, self-deprecating way
– Every time a host or presenter tells Wil Anderson to put his phone away
Take a shot
– If Wil Anderson actually cracks a smile/acknowledges them
– Every time someone in attendance at the Logies subtly hints that they hate the Logies and know you do too
– If Kylie tries out some trash talk about how her team is going to win The Voice this year
– Every time an award-winner thanks enigmatic industry insider “You Know Who You Are”
Finish your drink
– If Hamish & Andy don’t make it back to their table before being called back up on stage
– If ANY international guest references ANY local nominee or winner
– Every time a celebrity is visibly disgusted by Richard Wilkins‘ presence
– If Asher Keddie leaves empty-handed
Finish the bottle
– If Ed Sheeran/John Newman/Jason Derulo drop out and are replaced by some legit Australian talent
– If Brynne Edelsten wears something that doesn’t highlight & accentuate her breasts
– If the presenter of the Most Outstanding Light Entertainment category goes rogue and gives it to the un-nominated “Ja’mie: Private School Girl”
– If at no point during the broadcast you look at your phone and wonder how much longer it can possibly drag on for
Image via Scott Barbour for Getty Images Entertainment
