There’s something truly glorious about Australian culture. For better or worse, we generally don’t take ourselves too seriously, often to the point where we’re just straight-up disrespecting ourselves.
But our lack of self-respect is what makes life that much more entertaining. Plus, it’s helped produce some iconic duos that any Aussie will instantly be able to relate to.
Again, for better or worse.
1. Rubbish Bins & Improvised Cricket Stumps
I don’t think I’ve known anyone in Australia who actually owns cricket stumps. Why would you, when your bins are right there?
I usually tend to avoid playing backyard cricket altogether now, after *that* incident which I’m not allowed to talk about due to an ongoing legal case.
But, from what I can tell, rubbish bins are still going strong as a stump substitute.
2. Saturday Mornings & Snag-Related Trips To Bunnings
Let me just tell you this once: no one, and I mean no one has needed to go to Bunnings on a Saturday morning.
I’m 100% sure that garden pot you’ve been eyeing for your backyard can wait, random couple I don’t know. Don’t act like you’re not just going to stroll around aimlessly for 10 minutes before making a beeline to the snags tent.
That’s right. I have you pegged.
3. Festival Lads & Barely Buttoned Shirts
Look, I’m in no way against people wearing little-to-no clothing in public – in fact, I wholeheartedly support it.
It’s just a fact that if you go to any festival – music, wine, cheese, any of ’em – you’re bound to see at least 20 different guys who consider the top five buttons of their shirts to be off limits. You’d think having an exposed chest and/or stomach was a mandatory dress code.
If you’re visiting Australia and dunno what the protocol is, a good rule of thumb is that if you don’t have at least one nip out, you’re doing it wrong.
4. Kids w/ Rich Parents & Sold Signs
Let’s just call a spade a spade – buying a house in your 20s is nearly impossible unless you tap the bank of Mum & Dad.
I’m not saying that there aren’t people who have been able to save for a deposit all by themselves, but I’d wager that most people who chuck up a photo of themselves standing in front of a sold sign, have asked for a casual $20K from *wink* someone *wink*.
More power to ’em, though. I’m just salty.
5. Milk & Bickies
Okay, so we might’ve jacked the biscuit dunk from our mates over in the UK, but it’s still an Aussie tradition to fish out a bit of biscuit that’s broken off into the milk.
But, my comrades, the days of getting milk on your fingers are officially over. Dairy Farmers have just released two new flavours of milk – inspired by Arnott’s Wagon Wheels & Caramel Crowns – so that you can drink both your bickie and your milk all at once.
Efficient. Inspired. Revolutionary. An absolute game-changer.
I’m just gonna go ahead and hand all of my dry biscuits over to my neighbour.
(I hate wasting food and I owe my neighbour a little treat for all the times I’ve stumbled home post-Revs and tried to open their door instead of my own.)
