How Many Dancing With The Stars “Stars” Have You Never Heard Of?

I understand that Dancing With The Stars is a third tier reality TV show that lacks the showstopping panache of So You Think You Can Dance, the celebrity clout of Australian Idol or even the competitiveness of Next Top Model but seriously, who are these “stars” that I have never heard of?

I mean, Channel Seven are being quite loose with their definition of “stars” aren’t they? Are we sure they not dancing with massive, luminous ball of plasma because I don’t see any famous people here! That’s not true, I know who Miss Universe Australia Rachael Finch is. I’m also aware, as a casual sports fan, of David Wirrpanda and Jason Stevens aka the only man in Rugby League to spruik celibacy as a way of life – which kind of makes him the anti-everyone-in-rugby-league. I also vaguely remember Blair from season one of Big Brother whose acting career seems to be receding on par with his hairline and I recognize Tamara Jaber from season two of Popstars (which spawned Scandal’us the worst band name in the history of band names that may have been acceptable in 2001 what with all the experimental punctuation and all) also, she’s in the background of most Karl Sandilands pictures.

So yeah, it’s not like it’s eleven nobodies dancing madly for your recognition. It’s more like eleven semi-nobodies dancing madly for your recognition or maybe I’m just out of the commercial television loop and these are all household names in households that spend way less time on the internet than mine does. How many stars have you heard of? If the answer is eleven I will give you an imaginary prize.

Alex Fevola, celebrity photographer

Tamara Jaber, pop star

George Houvardas, Packed to the Rafters actor

Jo Beth Taylor, performer

David Wirrpanda, AFL legend

Rachael Finch, Miss Universe Australia 2009

Esther Anderson, Home and Away actress

Jason Stevens, former rugby league star

Rob Palmer, Better Homes & Gardens DIY guy

Blair McDonough, actor

Melinda Schneider, country music star