As if Mondays don’t already suck, tomorrow comes with a side of Mercury Retrograde. FFS. Read on to suss your horoscopes for next week…

ARIES

Mercury Retrograde is gonna smack ya across the face, I’m afraid, with one of its absolute worst impacts: bringing ghosts from your past back into your life. That being said, it’s looking like you have some unresolved feelings there, so getting some closure is actually a good thing.

TAURUS

It’s the least wonderful time of the year, folks, as Mercury Retrograde has just kicked off and it’s going to hold a mirror up to your face and make you realise that your life is a big ol’ mess. Not your face, your face is gorgeous. STUNNING, even. But your life? It’s a disorganised, frantic mess. Time to get cleaning and restore order to the chaos.

GEMINI

Libra season has just kicked off and you’re feeling thirty (or however old you are), flirty and thriving. But there is such thing as *too much* fun, and you’ll learn this once Mercury Retrograde begins. Your love life is set to experience some turmoil, with the return of ex lovers, some questionable dates, and / or some friction in your current relationship.

CANCER

Prepare for some tension on the home front as Mercury Retrograde wreaks its havoc in your home and family sector. Buried secrets will come to the surface and you’ll learn some things about your nearest and dearest that you wish you hadn’t. That being said, as they say, secrets keep you sick and the truth will set you free!

LEO

Watch your words, Leo! Mercury Retrogrades always fuck with communication, but this time it’s gonna be especially shitty for ya since it hits in your third house of comms. Double check every text and email before sending it, write down every single appointment and deadline, and, perhaps most importantly, be very careful with how you speak to others. Before ya blow up at someone, take a few deep breaths and edit your words, or you’ll regret it later.

VIRGO

Your strict-ass season may be over and playful Libra season may have begun, but with Mercury Retrograde kicking off tomorrow, there’s still heaps of work to do to get shit in order! Since Merc Retro hits your second house of dollarydoos, you’ll need to keep a watchful eye on your finances to risk blowing it all.

LIBRA

This is an annoying revelation for ya, especially since it’s YOUR season so you should be living your best life, but Mercury Retrograde (a.k.a. the fun police) lands in your sign tomorrow, so you’ll be feeling its impacts more than anyone. In particular, your head will feel a lil fuzzy and cloudy and you’ll start to question things. What else is new, huh?

SCORPIO

This whole year has been about self-reflection, introspection, and self-discovery for you, Scorpio, so naturally, when the last Mercury Retrograde of the year kicks off (tomoz), in your 12th house of awareness, no less, you’re going to be doing lots and lotsa thinking. Prepare to get deep, do some digging through memories past (some happy, some painful) and just have a nice long think about stuff.

SAGITTARIUS

You’ve been lacking that sense of community lately, what with lockdown and all, and I’m afraid that tomorrow’s Mercury Retrograde bodes for even more confusion as it hits your 11th house of mates. My advice? Cut through that confusion and reconnect with your pals. I’m sure they’re missing you just as much as you’re missing them! Someone has to make the first move, and a spicy Sagi is the perfect person to do it. You have social tools at your disposal that most other signs lack! Remember that.

CAPRICORN

You’re generally a no BS kind of person all year ’round. You know when something isn’t working and will be hella ruthless when need be, and that kind of energy will be needed when Mercury Retrograde kicks off. Although most people dread Merc Retro (and for good reason), it’s also been known to help straighten things up in our lives, and this particular one will make you realise that something about your work isn’t, erm, working.

AQUARIUS

Mercury Retrograde will have you feeling kinda lost, which isn’t new for you, especially with the current state of things, but that cloud of confusion will be extra fuzzy. Allow yourself to become lost, do some soul-searching, and maybe by the time it’s over, you’ll have the answers you’ve been seeking all year.

PISCES

Prepare to cry your pretty Piscean eyes out, because Mercury Retrograde kicks off tomorrow and it’s a fucking doozy. As per, shit from your past that you thought you’d dealt with will come back to haunt you, in particular financial nonsense and emotional baggage that you’ve been carrying. Make peace with these demons and put them to rest so you can move the fuck on with your life.

Matty Galea is the Senior Entertainment Editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV who also dabbles in woo-woo stuff like astrology and crystals and has been penning horoscopes since the start of his career. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.