Mercury Retrograde is back to ruin all our lives. Yay! Love this for us! Woo-fucking-hoo!

Read on to suss your horoscope for the week ahead…

ARIES

If there’s any big decisions you needa make next week, I’d recommend delaying your response as much as poss ‘cos Mercury Retrograde kicks off on May 10 and your brain will probs be kinda fuzzy, as will your decision-making skills. If it simply cannot wait, be sure to read all fine print as carefully as possible, ploise.

TAURUS

Uh oh, spaghettio. You’ve been v loose with the purse strings lately and next week, you’ll really feel the pinch. Try to cut back on spending as much as possible, like, yesterday! I know it’s Taurus (AKA indulgence) Season, but you’re not Elon fkn Musk. Not that you’d wanna be, but financially, who wouldn’t?

GEMINI

On May 10, your ruling planet Mercury will station retrograde in Gemini, causing all kinds of commotion. Simultaneously, Jupiter enters your friendly 11th house so you’ll be spending more time with peeps as your noggin’ is on the fritz, which means miscommunications are likely. Eek!

CANCER

Bad news, babe. Mercury officially stations retrograde on May 10 in your 12th house of intuition, which means your gut instincts may be a little off. When making decisions from this week onwards, be sure to use logic and reason, rather than going into things totally blind.

LEO

Lately you’ve been feeling rather disconnected and out of touch with your mates. That sense of mateship and community will be lacking even more so this week as Mercury Retrograde kicks off in your 11th house of community from May 10 onwards. Luckily, Jupiter will also enter your expansive ninth house on May 10, giving you the chance to reconnect and mend things.

VIRGO

Your ruling planet Mercury is going retrograde this week in your 10th house of career, prompting you to start reassessing where you’re at and where you wanna be. At the same time, Jupiter enters your eighth house of transformation, leading you to dream big and explore alternate options.

LIBRA

Get lost, Libra! No seriously, this week you should get a little lost and go on some fun adventures. Why? Well, because Mercury goes retrograde in your ninth house of adventure as of May 10, inspiring you to get out there and try something new (just double-check all risky texts and avoid signing documents while you’re at it).

SCORPIO

Your love life will come into question this week, or rather, the way that you love and receive love. Your eternal need for independence as a Scorpio often goes against your desire for intimacy. Try finding a balance, although don’t be afraid to set boundaries where necessary.

SAGITTARIUS

As a Sagittarian, you’re usually the peacemaker or the voice of reason, but sometimes, just sometimes, you may be the drama. This will be especially true next week when Mercury stations retrograde in your seventh house of partnerships on May 10. Try and go back to defusing drama, rather than fuelling and / or creating it.

CAPRICORN

Taurus Season is in full swing and you’ve been indulging like crazy (as ya bloody well should!). But this week, you’ll feel the pinch of said indulgences as Mercury goes retrograde in your sixth house of routine. You’ll struggle to get things back on track after going off the rails. Oops!

AQUARIUS

Your social life will be absolutely glowing from next week onwards as Jupiter enters your third house of communication on May 10. Just be aware that Mercury also goes retrograde on this day, so beware of misunderstandings, saying the wrong thing, sending risky texts, etc. You know the drill!

PISCES

Watch your step this week, Pisces, as misunderstandings and miscommunications are running amok. This is all thanks to that dastardly Mercury Retrograde which kicks off on May 10 in your fourth house of home and fam. Expect drama on the home front. What else is new, aye?

Matty Galea is the Senior Entertainment Editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, as well as our resident astrologer who pens our weekly horoscope series, ‘Your Horos Are Here’. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.