Your Horos Are Here: Boil The Fucken’ Kettle, Gemini, ’Cos Some Major Tea Is About To Be Spilled

I’m sure you’re hungover as hell right now and have absolutely zero hope for the future, but don’t stress because thanks to the Aries new moon, you’ll start the week brimming with energy and positivity. Think of the Aries new moon as the gatorade and bacon and egg roll for your soul.

For a more comprehensive guide to what you’re in for next week, read on…

ARIES

The Aries new moon that occurred over the weekend is sure to hit you with a blast of inspiration which never goes astray, now does it? On Saturday, be sure to edit your words before offering unsolicited advice or opinions to folks because a slip of the tongue could bring forth some unexpected and unwanted chaos which we absolutely do not need right now.

TAURUS

Oh mate, you’re gonna hate this one: a wave of feelings and emotions will come rushing towards you, not unlike the bull a.k.a. your sign’s mascot. These feels will definitely take you by surprise, so try your best to deal with them calmly and casually and above all else, avoid reacting with force, because this will not serve you well. A gentle hand rules the land.

GEMINI

Your Gemini wiles will be tested this week as the Sun makes its semiannual square to power-hungry Pluto, which usually means there’s a mad power struggle coming. Expect some major tea to be spilled as Pluto enters your eighth house and brings all kinds of secrets to the forefront. So what you’re probably gathering from this is that Pluto is pretty much Gossip Girl. XOXO.

CANCER

The Aries moon that hit over the weekend will have you more determined than ever to kick the goals you’ve previously set for yourself but haven’t quite reached yet. You’ll receive a sudden burst of inspo that’ll provide answers to some of the burning questions you previously had, plus you’ll feel confident that what’s coming is meant for you.

LEO

Dust off the hangover and power through with the week, Leo. You don’t have time to wallow in self pity as you’ve been bestowed by Aries new moon energy which you should channel ASAP to get shit done. As the Sun makes its semiannual square into power planet Pluto, you’ll be extremely on your game this week. The possibilities are endless.

VIRGO

This week’s planetary energy will have you questioning even the most well-laid plans. Suddenly, you’ll feel compelled to put everything under the microscope and use your analytical Virgo brain to determine what your next steps will be. While you’re doing this, be sure to avoid menacing outside forces that may throw you off. You’ve never needed other people’s help to make your decisions for you, defs don’t start now.

LIBRA

There’s a reason why Librans are known as the playful sign. It’s not just because they love to have a ball and share the good times with other folks, but also because you love to collaborate and bounce your thoughts off other people. This week, reach out to some fresh connections to find new ways of thinking and solutions to any and all of life’s problems.

SCORPIO

This week you’ll be riddled with stress, mostly stemming from control issues because there’s nothing a Scorpio hates more than to lose control of something (or someone). The incoming stress will lead you to overthink which, in turn, will cause even more confusion for yourself. Talking things through will only make things worse, TBH, because answers only lead more questions. There also may be a power struggle with a certain someone. If ever there were a time to take up meditation, it’s now. Ommmmm.

SAGITTARIUS

The Aries new moon will imbue you with creative urges, whether it be a fun art project, redecorating your home, hell, even a new Instagram aesthetic. Whatever it is, just roll with it. You’ve been going through it lately and being creative is a fabulous outlet for stress. Meanwhile, on Saturday, April 17, you’ll finally find the answer to a question you asked a while back.

CAPRICORN

This week you’ll be extremely on your Capricorn shit, in terms of making wise, informed decisions. It’s all thanks to the semiannual trine between the Aries Sun and powerful Pluto in Capricorn, which has been known to bring forth much-needed breakthroughs for Caps.

AQUARIUS

The main theme of this week is focusing on your communication and the messages that you’re conveying to the world. This is both a positive thing and a negative thing. On one hand, you’ll have the power to edit yourself and fine-tune your energy, but on the other hand, you’ll soon learn that you’ve been providing information to an untrustworthy source and it may bite you in the butt v. soon.

PISCES

You’re in for a very productive week, thanks to the energising Aries new moon that just hit. All the seeds you’ve recently planted will start to bloom. You’ll finally start to see results from all those weeks of slogging away in the trenches. That’s not to say you should become complacent though, Pisces. Keep watering the aforementioned seeds to see the plant grow even bigger and brighter.

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