Your Horos Are Here: Aquarians Will Be Feeling Horny As Hell This Week & Enjoy Yr Copious Boning

Fighter planet Mars is bringing fiery energy this week and it’s impacting everyone differently, so read on to suss what you’re in for…


It’s your birthday season so you should be spending 24/7 with your besties, but as you’ve gotten a year older, you’re suddenly feeling all pensive and reflective. Take this time to go inside yourself and think of all the cool shit you’ve done this past year and all the cool shit you hope to do over the next year.


As Jupiter joins forces with Neptune in your 11th house of community, you’ll finally get off your Taurean toosh and start actually attending all those social gatherings that you’d usually bail on. Spending time with your nearest and dearest makes your heart feel full, plus who knows? You might even make some new pals!


Been working your butt off at werk? Well it’s about to pay off in a big way as Jupiter and Neptune form a conjunction in Pisces on April 12. The kudos from your employers and colleagues, plus the energy of the Full Moon in Libra beaming into your fifth house of creativity on April 16 will inspire you to kick even greater goals.


You’re keeping things light and bright this week, thanks to the Jupiter-Neptune conjunction in Pisces which will save you from your shackles and allow you to roam free. Spend a few days exploring and getting lost, then on April 16, the Full Moon will return you to your roots as your connection with your family is strengthened.


If you feel like you’ve hit a wall in your relationship with a certain someone, this week try opening up more and being vulnerable to allow a more intimate connection to form, particularly around April 12 when Jupiter joins forces with Neptune. Take a risk and it’ll pay off by the Libra Full Moon on April 16.


Virgos usually don’t like to ask for help as you’re more used to giving it, but this week, if you put your pride aside and take that helping hand that’s being extended to you, you’ll accomplish that goal you’ve been desperately trying to win. As Jupiter joins forces with Neptune in Pisces, you’ll learn the value of teamwork and community.


You’ve been having a shit go of it lately and because of that, you’re not backing yourself and have lost your self-confidence. Well this week, as Jupiter joins forces with Neptune in Pisces on April 12, you’ll realise that you have the ability to change the fkn world if you want to.


You’re in for a scrap or two this week as your ruling planet Mars (AKA the planet of war) enters emotional Pisces on April 14. Differing opinions will result in some fiery situations. If you feel like you’re about to snap, simply remove yourself from the situation. The Libra Full Moon on April 16 will bring dollarydoos into your bank account so at least the week will end on a happy (bank) note.


There’s nothing a Sagittarius loves more than attention and this week, you’re gonna bloody get it! As Mars enters creative Pisces, your 10th House of Social Status will be illuminated and all eyes will be on you, baby. The Libra Full Moon on April 16 will bring good news for your bank account.


Fighter planet Mars is causing chaos for your sign this week, particularly in the realm of friendship. There’ll be some kind of barney between you and your mates, so gird your loins for that one. Come Saturday April 16, as the Libra Full Moon calls for balance, you’ll want nothing more than to tap out of the drama and spend time with your fam.


You’re gonna be feeling horny as fuck this week as Mars penetrates Pisces (hehe) and helps you tap into your sexuality. Got any kinks or fantasies you’ve been meaning to explore? Go right ahead, bb. The Libra Full Moon on April 16 bodes well for ~pleasure~ and I fkn love this for you.


This week the focus will be on your health as the Full Moon in Libra on April 16 shines a light on what you’ve been neglecting. If you’ve been putting something off, something that’s for your betterment, ditch the excuses and get shit done by the end of the week.

Matty Galea is the Senior Entertainment Editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, as well as our resident astrologer who pens our weekly horoscope series, ‘Your Horos Are Here’. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.