Everyone’s champing at the bit for The Honey Badger, aka Nick Cummins, to grace our screens as the most batshit Bachelor of all time. So you can’t blame me for deep-diving his Getty Images photos, OK? I’m only human. I need information. Even in the form of footy action shots when I don’t entirely know what type of footy the dude plays.
While trawling through the archives, I noticed something intriguing. Odd, even. But mainly just fucking funny and worthy of sharing.
Nick Cummins looks perpetually terrified in all of his portrait photos.
See, footy players do these photo shoots which I *think* are meant to make them look intimidating and mildly terrifying, in the hopes of scaring opponents/piquing the general public’s interest in scary men going for a run around a field galumphing into other scary men.
Except Nick does not look scary, he looks downright SCARED. Like he’s spotted an evil demon lurking over the photographer’s shoulder.
Let’s start with the “mildly disturbed”. I imagine in the photo above, Nick’s simply spotted a large bird-eating spider nestled on his photog’s large bonce.
This one says “I’m defeated by the demons surrounding me, they may have my soul and all whomst enters this studio”.
This one says “it is too late for you, good sir. The Slenderman has already begun consuming your mind. I am gravely sorry”.
He’s getting ready to bolt the fuck outta that studio in this one.
I like to think in this one, he’s still got the fire inside of him to fight the evil darkness that closes in on his sweet photographer friend.
“Oh no, Voldemort is here too”.
“beelzebub is upon us”
“Hope is gone”
*mentally prepares to fall into abyss for eternity*
And lastly, we have one (1) red carpet shot which proves to me, frankly, that the Honey Badger’s fear of darkness is now becoming present outside of the portrait studio.
Pray 4 Nick.