Home and Away, in what can only be described as a belated reply to that one time Neighbours made a Catcall reference, has thrown the horns, strapped on its trustiest Chuck Taylors and put superfluous studs on everything, last week announcing that it has introduced a new “cool cat” Summer Bay resident described as a “kooky” singer/songwriter from Melbourne who wears body-con snake print dresses and who comes to Summer Bay after she hears that her ex-boyfriend Kyle (Nic Westaway) is organising a music festival.
If you’re like us and aren’t entirely up to date with the going ons of Summer Bay a cursory Google search reveals that free-spirited indie musician and possible home-wrecker Phoebe Nicholson played by newcomer Isabella Giovinazzo is a singer/songwriter from Melbourne who went to school with Kyle, “when he was only dreaming of connecting with his father and brothers and Phoebe was dreaming of fame and fortune in the music business,” a dream which is apparently still alive and attainable if she somehow finds a way to land a spot on the music festival Kyle is organising in Summer Bay. Sure. I mean maybe she should just make a Facebook fan page or do a viral cover of a Daft Punk song? I don’t know. It’s your career! Also, who the fuck is Kyle?
Home and Away viewers, prepare to have your world rocked…

Home and Away airs 7pm weeknights on Channel Seven.