Given that technology’s rise has enabled the sourcing of on-the-spot information for a while now, it’s no small wonder humanity ain’t all that terrified of superstitions like we once were. It’s a lot easier to call BS and be done with it.
That being said, we all mildly acknowledge/adhere to them still – in the same way we stupidly can’t shake those ridic old wives tales that are beat into us as children. Why? ‘Cos crazy, unbelievable and unexplainable things happen every bloody day. Like, not only does Pauline Hanson have a reasonably large say in this nation’s lawmaking, but she spearheads a group of likeminded humans in the same powerful boat too. Spooky shit, right?
So, given that Friday the 13th’s just around the corner, we thought it would be a good idea to get you across common superstitions so you can avoid ’em. Or don’t. You do you. But, like, Trump‘s in the White House… it might be a good idea to play it safe tomorrow, folks.
1. Find a way to deal with bad breath when the sun’s down.
Folks in Hungary and Turkey hold the belief that you shouldn’t chew gum at night (especially during big celebrations/occasions) because you run the risk that it’ll spontaneously turn into rotting human flesh. Maybe hedge your bets and opt for mouthwash?
2. Don’t walk under those ladders that keep popping up everywhere being all like, “Hey hot stuff, come walk under me”.
Look, this one’s not actually that cooked. Do you really want to be responsible for knocking some poor bastard off his perch/potentially kill them in the process? Besides its basis in logic, this superstition’s roots are based in the Christian ideology surrounding the Holy Trinity – breaking the triangle the ladder forms was once seen as a blasphemous act.
3. Keep clear of empty buckets if you haven’t completed your bucket list yet.
Of all the crazy superstitions that are out there, this is by far the most ridiculous. Russians have a hugeeeee issue with empty buckets. Yep, poor/innocent buckets without contents are THE WORST in their eyes. If you’re seen carrying one, then folks will avoid you like there’s no tomorrow – they’re said to be a sure-fire way to ruin someone’s day.
4. Try your hardest to avoid crossing paths with rogue black kitties.
Poor black cats. They’re been copping the brunt of this superstition for a while now. Essentially they’re seen as a bad omen because of their ties to witchcraft – black cats became the stereotypical representation of ‘familiars’ (AKA Wiccan animal companions) since folks were burning people on stakes.
5. Avoid revealing anything about yourself while a pussy’s present.
While we’re on the topic of kitties, people in Denmark reckon you should be tight-lipped with your secrets when you’re in the same room as a cat. Apparently, your secret’s more likely to spread around when a four-legged friend is present – and yes, this is where the expression, “Who let the cat out of the bag?” stemmed from.
6. Bad luck loves a good ol’ ménage à trois, so bunker down for three crappy things to come at ya.
Y’know what they say: two’s company, three’s a crowd. That negative connotation is applicable to superstitions too, because if something bad happens to you, then there’s bound to be more crap heading your way. Once three bad things have hit you, however, then you’re sweet – you’ve (apparently) hit your cosmic quota.
7. Don’t stop drinking, even if you can’t drink anymore.
Look, we love hitting the sauce hard just as much as the next person, but Cubans take it to the extreme. Declaring that your alcoholic beverage is your “last drink” (or “el ultimo” in Spanish) is like flicking fate the bird – tempting it to knock you off your perch.
8. Try your darndest to not break any mirrors, ‘cos you’ll be dealing with the retribution for seven bloody years.
We’re sure you would’ve heard of this one before because, with a face like yours, you’ve probably caused a few reflective surfaces to spontaneously crack on your ass. Jokes. You’re beautiful. But yes, if you’re buying a ticket to the superstition-adhering festival then you better not break any mirrors. Seven years of bad luck isn’t an ideal situation to find yourself in.
The whole thing’s rooted in the ancient belief that mirrors hold a part of your soul – breaking one means you’ve literally shot yourself in the cosmic foot.
9. Broken a superstition? Then you better knock. Knock. On woOooOoOOooOOod. BaAaaYyYYY-baAaAaaYyyY.
Given that there are so many of these damn superstitions out there, it’s only sensible that someone conjured up a verbal defence + action that’s easily executable (cheers, whoever you are). If you were to hypothetically break a mirror or something similar and weren’t about copping the subsequent fallout, then say/physically “knock on wood” – it’s meant to stop the badness infiltrating your existence.
This particular superstition (or superstition defence, depending on how ya look at it) stems from several sources such as pagan myths that depicted good spirits making their cribs in trees, as well as the more traditional stories like the whole Christian cross thang.
And speaking of ways to defend yourself from the potential deluge of crap that might be flung your way tomorrow on Friday the 13th, we’ve got another option for you to get around – one that’s far more entertaining that gesticulating on timber.
Jason Blum, whose mind has been responsible for A+ flicks like The Visit, Get Out, Insidious and Split, has a new movie coming out October 12th called Happy Death Day. Although packing a punch filled with mystery and suspense, the film’s set to perfectly balance things out with plenty of lols. Check out the trailer below for the 411:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ENyivsLb_g
Now go on, take your Friday the 13th celebrations to new heights of pants-crapping by rallying your crew and catching it in cinemas the day before this spooky occasion/learn more about it by heading HERE.
