Hamish Blake Almost Missed BB Rudy’s Birth Cos He Really, Really Had To Shit

On July 17th, 2017, Australia‘s cutest family brought another sweet child into this world and our lives: Rudy Hazel Blake, precious bub at large.

But this momentous occasion was nearly missed by her dad Hamish Blake, who told his radio co-host Andy Lee yesterday that he really, really had to take a shit right at the critical moment.

He explains:

“You can’t do it in the room because the door opens straight into the delivery suite, but you go down the hallway, there’s no toilets because everyone has a toilet in their room.

“So I was like do I run off into this hospital blind, hoping to find a toilet but be present and clear headed for the birth of my daughter, or do I hold it and always remember the moment where I’m like ‘she’s great but I’m distracted, when can I put her down?’”

In the end, though, he risked it all for a peaceful dump, and managed to make it back in time.

“I chanced it, I got back,” he said.

But after that, he ruined wife Zoë Foster-Blake‘s painkilling gas with his dumb eating habits. RUINED IT. Ruined thing that was keeping her from feeling pain. In punishment he should be forced to piss out a kidney stone once a year, on Rudy’s birthday.

Basically: he’d returned to the birthing suite with minestrone soup, and Zoë had just been given the gas. Hamish decided to “have a go” on it, but accidentally got some soup in the mouthpiece.

“[Zoë] popped it in her mouth then spat it out again and goes ‘what have you eaten?’” he said. Zoë didn’t want it after that.

Hamish… the face of a monster.