It’s Halloween next week, which means both this weekend and the following will be filled with Halloween parties and spooky get togethers.
If you’re tired of dressing in whatever is the most cliche costume in your dollar store, we have a gift for you. As the lords of pop culture in Australia, we felt we had no choice but to come up with the most 2019 Halloween costume ideas for you guys, so you can slam open your mates door and stride into that house party to gasps and applause.
There’s nothing better than nailing a costume that’s both current and fucking witty as shit, and while we refuse to guarantee these costumes will see you become the star of the party, we can say they MAYBE will? Doesn’t get much more solid than that.
1. ScoMo Post-Engadine Shit
The story we broke first (STFU Moonman, we have receipts) has become part of the national zeitgeist, and it’s bloody easy to turn into a costume. Just wear a suit like Scott Morrison up here, and then rub shit on your ass. Not keen on using actual shit (pls don’t use actual shit) – chocolate cake batter will work a treat, or for cleanliness factors, cut out a poo-emoji and stick it on your ass.
2. An Engadine Macca’s Worker
Take the same yarn but flip your character – this time, you’re the Engadine Macca’s worker who had to clean up ScoMo’s alleged shit. Wear a red shirt, stick on a nametag and add an Engadine one for good measure, pop on a red cap with an “M” on it (or find a Maccas one like we did) and walk in with paper towels covered in cake batter.
3. A Cum Tree
This one might be difficult to identify, but hey – aren’t the best costumes the ones you have to explain a little? It also helps you to make new friends! Or find someone to have sex with later in the night! The cum tree, actually known as the Ornamental Pear tree, are all around Australia but very prevalent in Melbs.
If you wanna try this, either get some cum tree branches (cut ’em off near the base though so it’s better for the tree, would ya) or just any old twigs and then let people work it out. Alternatively, hang condoms off the twigs. Double alternatively – stick a fucking sign on your chest that says CUM TREE.
4. The Goose From ‘Goose Game’
It’s the viral video game even I know about, where you play a little shit of a goose who goes around stealing stuff and being a menace. If you can, hire a whole goose outfit – if not, wear white, make yourself a beak with orange cardboard and some elastic, and you’re sorted.
5. A Bad Co-Star Reading
Ah, Co-Star. The astrology app that started off insightful and mildly off-beat, then quickly deteriorated to the point where it was telling you to try killing your family today (jk jk but like, what is that above ^^^). An easy and extremely 2019 costume is to get some black cardboard, write the above or similar onto it and stick it to your body.
6. Moby & His Tatt
Unlike Moby, get your vegan status drawn onto your neck instead of permanently inked there.
7. The Veronicas & A Qantas Attendant
The feud that never ends – The Veronicas vs. Qantas – is primo content for your group Halloween outfit. Two of you go as The Veronicas, one as the Qantas attendant who allegedly blew up at them over being asked to move their bags, or something. Important: the Qantas attendant has to hide their name badge for photos to keep in line with the story. Also potential inclusion – Greg From Business Class, an agitated bloke on the flight who spoke to The Courier-Mail initially.
8. Fraser Anning Post-Egging
Has anything political been as iconic this year as Fraser Anning, douche to end all douches, getting egged by Will Connolly, teenage legend? No. My take on this – chuck a nude swimming cap on, add some eggy goo (maybe see how to make slime online?) and add some more to your stuffy button up shirt.
9. Fraser Anning & An Egg
Want to make it a co-outfit? Dress your mate as an egg and just go as Fraser Anning. Also optional – one of you is Will Connolly, although he is a certifiable Aussie legend so he’s not very evil/scary, is he?
10. Confused Lindsay Lohan
Was anything more enjoyable about The Masked Singer than Lindsay continually trying to rework her face to appear like she knew the celeb names being thrown about? No. It made the show. This is the easiest Halloween costume – a red wig, a fancy dress, and a permanently befuddled expression on your face.
11. A Dead Opal Card
2019 – the year NSW transport just decided that yep, you can just use your credit card to swipe on/off buses and trains, making the plastic and constantly-lost Opal card redundant. Make your face the “O” part, and just use stuck-together black cardboard to get this costume going.
12. An Ooshie
Ah, Ooshies. They took Australia by storm this year, then into truly chaotic areas when people were selling the rare furry one (see above) for like, thousands. Everything peaked when a farming couple cut a rare Ooshie up on live TV to… protest drought conditions? Anyway, this is a hard costume because you really need a full-on animal suit.
13. Flume & An Ass
Who can forget the video moment when Flume ate his girlfriend’s ass live on stage at a festival? ICONIC AS FUCK. You can either go as Flume, holding a peach (he did post this to Instagram), Flume holding an ass (just buy one from your local sex toy shop!) or Flume and a life-sized ass, if you have some creative artistic genius in you.
14. A Juul
The most creative way to do this Halloween costume would be to wrap yourself in black cardboard and use dry ice to make smoke rise from your head?? Or you could just walk in smoking a juul. But like, is that just every fuckwit at a house party…
15. The Planet On Fire
FUN FACT WE’RE ALL FUCKING DYING BC WE AREN’T CARING FOR THE PLANET – what’s more terrifying than the future of the globe c/o climate change? Nothing.