Ah, Gwyneth Paltrow. She’ll never cease to amaze us, and not in the ways she probably wants to amaze us (unless the rumours about her being in on the joke are true). If you think her latest scandal is bone broth related, you would be wrong. Shortly after that whole thing went down, the trial kicked off for a 2016 skiing accident that she was involved in.
ICYMI: Terry Sanderson, a retired optometrist, filed a lawsuit in January 2019 accusing the actress of crashing into him at a ski resort in 2016, and leaving him “seriously injured.”
The actress has denied causing the collision and, in her countersuit, she claimed it was Sanderson who crashed into her, delivering a full “body blow” from behind.
Following an absolute spectacle of a trial, a jury sided with Paltrow on Thursday, deciding she was not at fault in the accident.
Paltrow countersued for $1, as well as her legal fees, insisting that she did not run into Sanderson.
All this aside, we will never get over the abject mayhem of the trial.
Here’s all the wild shit that went down…
Rumours that the fkd diet incident was a diversion
The reason why you may not have heard about the Gwyneth Paltrow skiing accident trial is because you were too busy eye-rolling over her recent interview in which she shared her fucked diet.
It’s been speculated that this very well may have been a PR move.
TikTok PR queen Molly McPherson pointed out that the timing is certainly… interesting:
@mollybmcpherson The classic PR distraction trick. #gwynethpaltrow #gwyneth #goop #fyp #crisiscommunication #bonebroth #greenscreen
She keeps desperately trying to hide her face, as if we don’t know what Gwyneth Paltrow looks like
Photos that have emerged from the courtroom show Paltrow hiding her face behind a notebook.
Uh, who’s gonna tell her that we know what she looks like? We’ve all seen Shallow Hal (unfortunately).
Gwyneth Paltrow shielding her face with a blue notebook as she exits the courtroom. pic.twitter.com/iYHDppoyjH
— Ξvan Ross Katz (@evanrosskatz) March 23, 2023
She even complained about the cameras in the courtroom
After footage from the courtroom began to circulate online, she dead-ass had her lawyer complain about the placement of the cameras.
On the second day of the trial, Paltrow’s attorney Steve Owens complained to the court that there was a “new camera pointed directly” at Paltrow.
Just have a look at the ticked-off expression she gives while her lawyer gripes about the camera. A moment which, ironically, is being caught on camera and would soon be circulated online.
Her courtroom fit was certainly… a choice
Folks have poked fun at Paltrow’s style decisions, with some pointing out that her turtleneck is very appropriate ~skiing accident trial~ attire while others compared her glasses to those of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.
https://twitter.com/GrahamB47/status/1638608739128475648?s=20
Gwyneth Paltrow’s glasses are giving Jeffrey Dahmer vibes. pic.twitter.com/iYDApZGDx1
— Karen Sweeney (@karenlsweeney) March 23, 2023
The prosecution may have poked fun at her infamous coining of “conscious uncoupling”
Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow seemingly tried to minimise gossip about her divorce from ex-husband Chris Martin of Coldplay fame by saying they were in the midst of a “conscious uncoupling”?
It’s been speculated that the prosecution referenced this while cross-examining her by pointing out her “conscious disregard” for his client.
To this day I can’t hear or say the word “conscious” without thinking of GP.
Taylor Swift copped a mention
No idea why, but the opposition probed GP about her friendship with Taylor Swift, which was, understandably, met with an: “Objection, relevance?”
The wild moment has gone viral on TikTok:
@niche_allison_content Did the defense lawyer just take this case to try and get Eras tour tickets or what? 💀 #gwynethpaltrow #gwynethpaltrowtrial #taylorswift #erastour #taylorswifterastour #tserastour
Her request to give treats to the bailiffs was denied
In a bizarre and unprecedented move, Paltrow’s security team requested to give lil snackies to the courtroom bailiffs.
“Private security for my client wanted to bring in treats for the bailiffs for how helpful they’ve been,” Paltrow’s lawyer said, according to Us Weekly.
“So, I wanted to do that transparently and see if there are any objections.”
Her request was subsequently shut down.
“Okay, there’s an objection so thank you, but no thank you,” Judge Holmberg said. “If the parties decide to do that later, that’s fine, too.”
Uh, I’d like to know what those treats were, given she’s so opposed to actual food. Were they bone broth gummies, or?
The rumour that she sipped bone broth in court
Speaking of bone broth!
In courtroom footage, Gwyneth Paltrow can be seen sipping on an unknown liquid from a mug.
Folks on TikTok have speculated that it very well could be bone broth but I guess we’ll never know… unless Gwyneth does another problematic podcast interview after this to divert the public spectacle and she admits to sipping broth in court.
@theshamingofjay Oh man this gwynethpaltrow case is something else gwynethpaltrowtrial
Rich people shit, man. Honestly…
