Awards season has BEGUN, babey! We’re kicking things off with the 2023 Golden Globe Awards, and thanks to a plethora of stylists who were probably frothing at the mouth to adorn some rich celebrities in fashion after years of COVID ruining all the parties, there are some truly tizz looks on the red carpet.
All your television faves are present and accounted for, plus some big movie stars since… well, what even are the Golden Globes? They’re like a weird slashie mish-mash of an awards show. Anyway, here are the best and the weirdest looks from the red carpet.
Jenna Ortega
The only star getting not one, but two pics is Jenna Ortega, because the Wednesday lead looked SO resplendent, she deserved it. The draping! The pleats! The beige that’s almost poopy brown but somehow works! Would she disappear if there was a dust bowl in LA? Yes! Would she look hot doing it? Also yes!
Margot Robbie
Margsie is leaning HEAVILY into her Barbie persona for the upcoming flick, no? She’s even posing like a soulless doll here. That being said, it’s giving Prom Barbie but make it the cool girl in 1979, and that’s never going to be a bad thing. Love the chevron, love the fringing, even here for the dead-behind-the-eyes stare. You method act that shit, sweetie.
Laverne Cox
This was a best on ground for me. I think I’m having a moment about cobalt, like a sort of bowerbird issue in my brain (they’re those birds that collect milk bottle tops, I know this thanks to copious trips to the Australian Museum in school). Anyway, the Grecian drape, the matching heels, the Old Hollywood hair? All works for me.
Heidi Klum
I don’t think an ostrich needed to die for this dress. In fact, I think the dress would have looked better sans ostrich, so now we have one less ostrich in this world, and Heidi Klum looking like she raided Spotlight.
Colman Domingo
YOU might know Colman for his role in Euphoria. I, an enlightened one, know him from the second best zombie show Fear The Walking Dead, which I just finished binging and because I am the captain of this fashion wrap ship, I get to include actors you DGAF about.
Anyway, how good is this suit! It has sparkly things on it! There are little bows on his shoes! It should look fucking stupid but instead it’s seriously hot!
Kaley Cuoco
One day when I am pregnort I will do nothing, go nowhere, exclusively own the lounge room and force my partner to make me elaborate meals involving carbs and sugar. Kaley has made the opposite decision and she seems happy about it, so that’s great. It’s not for me, all this “doing stuff” and “attending events when I have the perfect excuse not to”, but sure. Live your own life. She looks v cute too.
Jennifer Coolidge
It’s Jenny’s world and we just fucking exist in her orbit. Truly, how did we sleep on this woman for so many years. And now you go back to Legally Blonde and A Cinderella Story and you’re like… what the shit, she is the indisputable star of both movies. Anyway, she could wear a fucking garbage bag on the red carpet and I’d give her 100/10 stars. As always, gorgeous and intimidating, like I NEED her to step on my face.
Billy Porter
He never misses! HE NEVER MISSES. Give me those shoes though or I will cut his feet off to get them.
Michelle Williams
Michelle eternally gives the energy of “I really don’t want to be here but my publicist forced me to” on red carpets, and judging by how private she is in general, I think I’m correct in saying this woman would rather be lovingly cradling her toilet seat during a gastro incident than attending the Golden Globe Awards. Yet here she is, festooned in ruffles like The Little Mermaid wearing a pile of clams.
Anya Taylor-Joy
Sometimes I feel like Anya Taylor-Joy is the secret sister of Taylor Swift. Can you see it? I can’t UN see it. Anyway this is fine, I don’t really love yellow but also I’m not God, just because I don’t love yellow doesn’t mean Anya can’t love it, or you can’t love it. I will say the tube top and maxi skirt formal outfit is VERY 2001, which means all the Year 10s will be wearing some iteration of this in 2023.
Viola Davis
COBALT!!!! MY INNER BOWERBIRD IS DELIGHTED! However did Viola trample through mud on her way to the Golden Globes? What has happened to her hem there. Which assistant fucked up their ONE JOB. In fairness Viola’s turned every glowing bulb on in her entire body to distract from it and I only noticed it coz I scrolled down to write this. Good job, you glamorous bitch.
Letitia Wright
This dress is so casuale for the Golden Globes but it’s also just SO beautiful on Letitia – the burnt orange colour, the ruffly split, it’s kind of refreshingly un-tizzy, you know?
Seth Rogen
Oh you fucking GORGEOUS cummerbunded man! More pastel suits on red carpets! More men actually bothering to try in the fashion field after decades of women being judged if they DON’T try! But also don’t you think white shoes would have just perfected this look? My only criticism.
Clare Danes
Look, even Clare doesn’t seem very sure of this dress. What is that pink bow even doing in my presence? Why is it giving “toilet paper dress from bridal shower”? I also feel though that Clare is in the same camp as Michelle Williams, one of those actors that just HATES the event circuit and probably just goes “put anything on me IDGAF”.
Emma D’Arcy
There is a LOT going on here from the electric blue gloves to the pointy sparkle boots to the eye makeup (is that the crying TikTok trend? Is it a David Bowie tribute?) but Emma is just so COOL you know? Captain Negroni Sbagliato themselves seems to pull anything off. Even culottes, which should have all been burned in 2008.
Andrew Garfield
Impregnate me with your children, Andrew. Do it while wearing this suit. Don’t take it off.
Michelle Yeoh
All peplums should be left in 2012 except for THIS SPECIFIC PEPLUM on Michelle Yeoh, because she is working it so hard it should start paying taxes.
Adam Scott
Another cummerbund! The 70s prom is here to stay! The necktie is a bit too straight across and weird shaped, kind of like Clare’s bow (who is on bow-tying duties here) but otherwise, you know what, a man in a colourful suit. I can’t NOT rate it highly.
Julia Garner
Because I’ve been watching too much Bachelor I’ve decided that Julia turning up in a frothy Barbie-pink gown is a sledge against Margot Robbie, like a subtle “I could have been Barbie if I owned a production company” vibe. In reality, it was probably a coincidence. I love this dress, it’s also giving Little Mermaid but more like if she adorned herself with coral, not clams. As a side note, what’s Julia in next bc the woman does not miss. Every role she’s done she’s nailed.
Lily James
I TOLD you tube tops and formal skirts were gonna be huge again. I mean, Lily’s really taken on the definition of huge with this skirt but hey, if you can’t wear 200 kilograms of taffeta to the Golden Globe Awards, where CAN YOU. If I was invited I’d wear a train so long, it trailed down Hollywood Boulevard and cars got caught in it.
Jessica Chastain
Jess looks gorgeous, of course she does. But as someone who just cleaned five cobwebs off my car’s side mirrors, I can’t unsee the spidery nature of this gown.
Percy Hynes White
You know I LOVE it when the guys actually bother to tizz themselves up on the red carpet instead of just wearing borza old suits. What is this? A cape? An oversized velvet blazer? I don’t care because it looks sexy and chic with the belt and the 70s high-waisted pants. Harry Styles WISHES he wore this first.
Elizabeth Debicki
Either all these women in pink were making the strong statement that they, too, could have been Barbie, or Margot Robbie is internally rubbing her hands with glee at how strongly the Barbiecore aesthetic is dominating fashion right before her flick comes out. I am a big fan of pink, it reminds me of strawberry milk which is my favourite little afternoon treat since I am a grown adult baby.
Ana De Armas
Look Ana is so beautiful she too could wear a sack and make it work, so she makes THIS sack work, but whyyyyyy. It’s so like, ugly-retro? The big panel with the square top? It’s like a Gold Coast mansion’s hallway runner stuck to the front of a lovely, simple black frock.
Selena Gomez
At first I thought I’d prefer this without the big poufball sleeves but they’ve grown on me! Also, useful for storing snacks.
Donald Glover
Sure, Donald would look hot if he arrived in an entire ensemble from Shein. But this silky wrap top-blazer-pants thing? With the skeezy 70s moustache? Marry me.
Austin Butler
It’s a very well-fitting suit. It’s fine. I just need to know if he’s still doing the Elvis voice.
Melissa Mason is a freelance writer, you can find her on Insta and TikTok.
