I know what you’re thinking. You clicked here because you think I’m going to give you a zesty, funny, Friday content jokey story about fake ghouls.

Well, no. That’s not this story. I really did get pushed over by a ghost today, and I need to tell you about it – and all the other creepy supernatural/weird mysterious being things that are absolutely real based on a few Reddit posts, some sketch YouTube videos and a smattering of urban legends.

Love urban legends, creepy stuff, mysteries, true crime and the like? Check out Pedestrian’s All Aussie Mystery Hour podcast below.

But back to me. GIVE ME THE ATTENTION AGAIN, PLOISE.

I was casually strolling back from lunch, minding my own business, when BAM! Something airy yet firm pushed against my back. What’s that, you say? It was a gust of wind? False.

There were two people in front of me and no wind hit them. Huh? What do you make of that, huh? It felt like a physical thing that was made of air pushing me in the back. I turned and no one was there. It was undoubtedly a ghost.

Don’t try and tell me this is BS, I know what I know.

I do love to just blindly believe fantastical tales of mysterious beings. So this experience made me think of all the other weird stuff I will swear up-and-down is legit, don’t fight me.

THE LOCH NESS MONSTER

This guy is totally a thing. Absolutely. I like to think that the Loch Ness monster is actually really cute and friendly. Just wants a little head pat from a hooman. Lil’ portly sea longboy.

Anyway the Loch Ness is real bc 2017 was a record year for sightings, so obviously this thing never dies and just likes popping it’s little penis-head up all the time for photo ops.

MERMAIDS

You know what are absolutely real are mermaids. Get this – the ocean is really big. Did you know that? I mean der we all know it but we don’t even know what’s right down there in some bits, OK? Did you know THAT? And have you seen the things we do know is deep down below? It’s messed up:

Absolutely burn that til it’s extinct. It has no place here.

Anyway, there’s also this Animal Planet video I just blindly believe.

I do wonder if that “expert” is just Zach Galifinakis. But also in a very real way, I feel like Zach Galifinakis knows a lot about mermaids. He just seems like a mermaidy guy.

THIS SCHOOL GHOST

Okay first off, do not watch this video without first bracing yourself, because I screamed extremely loudly in the middle of the office just before and now everyone hates me.

That’s an alleged (real) ghost inside an Irish public school. Youuuuu might say that’s a hoax. You’d be wrong. Now, do we think the ghost is a disgruntled teacher coming back to ruin future students’ lives? Some real life version of Groundskeeper Willie, but Irish not Scottish?

THE HAUNT OF THE CECIL HOTEL

Oh, mates. Have you heard of the Elisa Lam mystery? Sweet Matt from work wrote about it over here, but to Cliff’s Notes it for you, Elisa Lam was a guest at the already notorious Cecil Hotel, her dead body was found in the water tank on the roof (after guests complained about water tasting weird omfggggg) and video surveillance footage was found showing her behaving v suss in the lifts.

The Cecil Hotel has such a sordid past full of violence – suicides, serial killers living on-site and committing murders in their hotel rooms… it would basically be a miracle if it wasn’t riddled with demons and ghosts, no?

Also, U2 performed on the roof in the late 80’s AND that’s probably the last time U2 were good, so it’s probably got demons and it’s cursed.

Someone go stay there and report back as to the level of weirdness they experience.

GEFF THE MONGOOSE

At the risk of just completely ripping Matt’s article for this article (tempting, I’m quite hungover and it is Friday) I just couldn’t write about mysterious beings I believe to be real without including sweet, psychotic Geff the talking mongoose.

Geff – best spelling of name ever – was a mongoose who lived in the Isle Of Man in 1931, on a family’s property. He started out pretty friendly before making a whole bunch of demands of the family, threatening to kill their livestock if he was denied. GET LOST, GEFF, YOU FREELOADER.

Anyway, Geff is a weird one bc you’d think he was a demon, but he swore black and blue he was just a “very, very clever mongoose”. Whatever he was, he’s weird and I’m into him. And he was real.

THE TOOTH FAIRY

Ughhhhh I didn’t want to have to put The Rock in here, but there’s literally no normal pictures of the Tooth Fairy so he is going to have to do.

Anyway, bear with me here. Santa? Get out, fake as all hell. The Easter Bunny? Off you go. But of all the kid-friendly mysterious figures, the Tooth Fairy is the one I just totally think is legit.

First, it’s messed up. Parts of your physical body fall out and then some flying being swoops in in the dead of night to collect them for cash? Absolutely real bc the world is going to hell in a hand basket and that’s exactly the kind of business I expect.

Second, I once stole $20 in $2 coins from my Mum’s wallet as a test to see if the Tooth Fairy was real – I usually only got a single $2 coin – and in the morning when I showed Mum she was just shocked. She did not yell at me for going and robbing her wallet. So there’s evidence #2.

Anyway I’m gonna end this here bc it’s 4.08PM and I don’t want to keep going, bye.

Love anything creepy / mysteries? Then you’ll love Pedestrian’s All Aussie Mystery Hour podcast. Subscribe on iTunes HERE, or on Spotify HERE. Or, you can just listen / download below.

Image: Paranormal Activity