Garfield cartoonist Jim Davis, who shall now be known as a huge fucking liar and bullshit artist, has denied that Jon Arbuckle drinks dog cum in the iconic strip where he absolutely drinks the dog cum.
If that sentence is a mystery to you, I present to you: Exhibit A.
As you clearly see in Exhibit A, the hapless Jon, while talking his anthropomorphic cat Garfield to the vet, takes a big cool sip of a liquid that later turns out to be dog ejaculate.
Why the vet, whose name is Liz, chose to leave a big ol’ mug of dog semen on the table next to the cat is a mystery, and points to her poor hygiene habits. Jon should really be seeing another vet. Then again, why was he drinking something that was objectively not his to drink? Adults in the Garfield universe are clearly barely functioning humans who shouldn’t be in charge of a goldfish let alone a piece of shit cat.
But I digress.
The dog cum strip has made its way into internet folklore, popping up from time to time to remind everyone that the Garfield they loved in childhood is quite different to the Garfield as it really stands.
https://twitter.com/ccchauffe/status/558378981959806977
Recently, a Twitter user even ordered a signed copy of the comic from Davis, which included the script, “These events are canon.”
https://twitter.com/realnutsling/status/920017105805701120
But Davis is now claiming, wrongly, that the strip never inferred Jon was drinking dog cum at all.
BuzzFeed News (which is really doing the lord’s work here) reached out to the artist, who claimed it was merely a protein supplement for a mythical pregnant dog.
“On the farm, we used to give first-calf heifers a high protein supplement to help them deliver healthier calves,” he said in a statement. “The supplement was provided by our vet. I assumed that there would be a similar supplement for dogs. So Jon is drinking a protein-enriched drink formulated for a pregnant dog.”
“There you have it!”
No, there we do not have it, Jim. The drink? It’s dog cum.
~Finito~
