This is not a drill, people. WE REPEAT: NOT A DRILL.
For too long have Australians been confined to the totalitarian restrictions of Golden Gaytime size – doomed to be told what constitutes a “single portion” by an oppressive wooden stick.
But today, dear friends. Today is a glorious day; a day where we cast off the shackles of how much delicious Gaytime ice cream we should eat in one sitting; a day where we no longer have to raid the freezer at the 7/11 and load up on multiple sticks to get our fill. Today is real. It is happening. And we are all the better for it.
Streets have just released Golden Gaytime in ONE POINT TWO-FIVE LITRE TUBS.
Even still, this glorious achievement of industry appears to be at the impetus of just one brave soul.
The Facebook group “Golden Gaytime Icecream Tub Project” – the apparent brainchild of one intrepid fellow – brought the magnificent news to national attention late yesterday.
Everybody shut the fuck up… We did it… Well actually I did most of it… After writing my letter… THEY RELEASED IT (only in 1.25 litre… I guess that will have to do… For now)
Even better still, Streets have confirmed that this isn’t some magnificently hellish fevered dream that bids to rip this country in twain – nor is it the handiwork of an extremely skilled, but very cruel, Photoshop prankster.
It is real. It is a real thing that you can exchange money for.
“We have managed to fit Golden Gaytime into a tub with Golden Gaytime classic and two other new flavours. Each is a perfect union of vanilla, Gaytime biscuit crumbs and that unique Gaytime flavour. Grab a spoon and treat your tastebuds to this match made in dessert heaven.”
The two “other new flavours” they refer to are chocolate and mint, if you’re feeling adventurous or like messing with the classics.
The Golden Gaytime tubs are available in most good grocery stores RIGHT NOW for the princely RRP of just $6.99.
Meanwhile, nominations for Australian of the Year are still open.
The excuse about not being able to bring about historic global change because you’re “just one person” is now forever moot.
Photo: Golden Gaytime Icecream Tub Project via Facebook.