Ah, nothing like a peek into how the Kardashian / Jenners celebrated Christmas to make ya feel like Oliver fucken Twist.
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If ya didn’t feel poor after spending all your hard-earned dollarydoos on Chrissy pressies, you’ll most certainly feel it after checking out how the famous fam spent the festive season.
Only, it would appear that the Kardashians hired Satan’s party planner ‘coz there’s a whole lot of nasty at their annual Chrissy Eve party.
Brace yourselves, mates:
Okay, let’s start with the entrance which appears to be the doorway to heaven but you’ll soon find that it’s the doorway to the opposite realm.
“So homey and beautiful,” Kim Kardashian gushed over sister Kourtney’s party-throwing skills.
But just you wait.
Something wicked this way comes…
Have a go at the Satanic upside-down devil tree which definitely summons all kinds of evil Christmas hobgoblins at midnight.
Shoutout to mama Kris Jenner for bringing this lemon cake that definitely wasn’t made by her personal baker and is also DEFINITELY not used to fatten up the village children to be eaten on Christmas Day.
Some unhappy mother fucker who thought he’d at least be a soap opera star by now has been hired to play a real-life elf on the shelf.
By the looks of his face, it absolutely appears that he is there against his will.
Could someone pls check on this man? (I mean someone other than me, there’s no way in hell I’m stepping into this devil pit).
They even hauled in fucken Sia to perform. Not on a stage or anything, but from inside a human-sized doll box.
If we don’t see her any time soon, it could be because they’re injected her with the same poison they used on Kanye to convince him to marry into the family.
“Rob can marry Sia so she can become a Kardashian,” Kim wrote on Insta. Yikes…
Kendall Jenner, the sister gifted with the demon gift of invisibility, took to Insta to assure punters that she was present at the unholy gathering.
And as midnight was fast approaching, Kim started to revert back to her true form which didn’t stun her stylist as he’s made a career out of disguising her horns and scales for Hollywood events.
Ok so all jokes aside, there’s this saying: All the money in the world can’t buy good taste.
If you need evidence of this, just look to the Kardashians at Christmas time.
