Netflix has churned out a helluva lot of content since its inception, from holidays flicks to action-packed blockbusters to horror movies – they’ve pretty much done it all.
But while some are legit Oscar-worthy flicks, others are low-budge, straight-to-DVD knock-offs that deserve to be chuckled at.
Here, I’ve taken on the long and arduous but extremely necessary task of ranking every single Netflix film from bullshit to bloody brilliant.
Yep, that’s right. I actually went through Netflix Original Films (excluding docos and films not available in Aus) to let you guys know what’s up.
My decisions have been made based on what the critics have voted, how viewers have rated them, and, perhaps most importantly, what I, Matt Galea, think.
So if you have a qualm with any of my rulings, don’t even bother @ing me. Here’s my response:
Buckle up, folks.
254. The Ridiculous 6
I don’t know which Netflix exec has a major hard-on for Adam Sandler movies, but you’ll find that a lot of this list is me eye rolling about him and his Z-grade comedy that’s infiltrated the streaming giant like a parasite.
Did Sandler lose a bet to said exec or are they just hoping that one of these days, he’ll recapture the magic of his ’90s films? Welp, he certainly didn’t with Ridiculous 6.
253. The Do-Over
Or The Do-Over.
252. Father of the Year
251. The True Memoirs of an International Assassin
Hey, how do you make an Adam Sandler movie even worse? Add the comedy stylings of Kevin James, that’s how.
But look, there were a couple of half chuckles in this one, which is why it’s a smidge higher on the list.
I’m sorry, the comedian playing several characters in a movie shtick just doesn’t work. It didn’t work for Eddie Murphy in Norbit and it sure as shit doesn’t work for Marlon Wayans.
It did, however, work for Raven Symone in that ep of That’s So Raven where she visits her fam in the South, but that’s a rare exception.
249. The Last Thing He Wanted
248. The Wrong Missy
246. Invader Zim
245. Pee-wee’s Big Holiday
Sorry, I’ve got no fucken’ clue who this bloke is so the humour was totally lost on me. Then when I read into that whole 1991 incident, I was even less interested.
244. Journey to Greenland
243. Dragon Quest: Your Story
242. The Christmas Chronicles
Mum and dad Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell star in this charming but clunky Chrissy flick.
241. River’s Edge
240. Cities of Last Things
239. The Laws of Thermodynamics
238. Time Share
237. The Dirt
Feels like everyone’s trying to ride the biopic wave but while this Mötley Crüe-inspired film is an entertaining snapshot of the iconic band, Bohemian Rhapsody, it is not.
234. Your Son
233. Sandy Wexler
232. Holiday In The Wild
Charlotte from Sex and the City and Chris from Parks and Rec meet at a bar on their way to an elephant conservation in Africa and you can pretty much guess the rest of the movie from there.
It’s your average corny love story, with the added elephant conservation element which is actually a pretty damn important topic so I defs recommend this one for a bit of wildlife education.
231. Love Per Square Foot
230. The App
Remember that time when that cheating website Ashley Madison was hacked? This flick is basically a fictionalised version of that.
It’s definitely spicy viewing, but nothing that a studio with far less money couldn’t have made.
229. Despite Everything
227. Fullmetal Alchemist
226. In The Tall Grass
224. A Message From The King
223. Godzilla: The Planet Eater
222. Next Gen
You can’t put a hashtag in your movie title and expect it to be good. I’m sorry, you just can’t. I don’t make the rules.
220. Lady J
217. Girlfriend’s Day
216. Angela’s Christmas
214. Unicorn Store
Look, I love me some Brie Larson but unlike the mythic beast it’s named after, this film just had no magic.
212. The Titan
210. The Crew
209. Close Enemies
207. House Arrest
206. Falling Inn Love
This cursed but cherished Chrissy flick starring Christina Milian landed on Netflix last year and was a delightful mindless watch for when I’d had one too many eggnogs.
It’s got everything a soppy holiday flick should have from the tourism-friendly drone shots to stuffy job abandoned for a more chill lifestyle.
Sure, it’s wildly predictable, but when life is full of so much uncertainty, sometimes a plotline that seems like it was written on a cocktail napkin is just what you need.
205. Get In
202. Lucid Dream
201. The Silence Of The Marsh
200. The Plagues of Breslau
I have a feeling that The Plagues of Breslau is low-key a knock-off of Se7en, but somehow this David Fincher rendition brings a fresher take to the serial killer thriller.
199. Earthquake Bird
198. Burn Out
197. Take the 10
Florence Pugh stars in this confusing horror flick about a team of scam artists who get more than they bargained for when a job at a haunted county estate gets out of hand.
The film relies on easy scares and jumpy scenes for its fear factor but at its core, the plot is both lazy and muddled.
195. White Fang
194. In The Shadow of the Moon
193. Twin Murders: The Silence of the White City
192. Rock My Heart
191. Dangerous Lies
This is by far the most high profile Bad Movie by Netflix, directed by David Ayer, the bloke behind the highly anticipated but ill-fated Suicide Squad.
Much like the aforementioned DC flick, it’s a lesson in how to make a high budget film seem very, very low budget. Brava.
186. What Happened to Monday
185. Secret Obsession
184. Gnome Alone
183. Orbiter 9
180. Frankenstein’s Monster Monster
179. The Tribe
177. Malibu Rescue
176. You Get Me
An erotic thriller that’s neither thrilling nor erotic.
175. The Silence
Netflix tried to recapture the magic of Bird Box but this sad little chick landed with a thud.
174. The Last Summer
K.J. Apa and Maia Mitchell star in this dull attempt at capturing that feeling of the last school hols before adulthood.
It reminds me of how boring life was before I could legally get on the piss.
171. Irreplaceable You
169. Step Sisters
This Paramount reject ended up in Netflix’s hands and look, they managed to churn out a fairly decent, if not somewhat absurd, flick, filled with many a haunting moment.
166. Game Over, Man!
165. Girls With Balls
164. The Holiday Calendar
I’m sure this movie was the aspirational, inspirational, motivational flick of the year that it was aiming to be for some people, but for me it fell flat.
I dunno if it’s because it had a script that was trying too hard or if the chemistry just wasn’t right with the lead stars (including Lucy Hale and Awkwafina).
It did have some entertaining moments, I.E. the bathroom scene, but overall, yeah, it just didn’t do it for me.
162. Gun City
161. Catching Feelings
160. The After Party
158. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby
As with the other movies in this franchise, if not for its mirroring of the actual royal family (only whiter…), I doubt the interest would be as strong.
156. Holiday Rush
155. The Last Laugh
154. The Knight Before Christmas
Ness Hudgens has cemented herself as the qween of corny Christmas flicks and we love that for her.
Following on from the wildly ridiculous flick The Princess Switch, the HSM alum is now the face of another Chrissy movie about a gallant English knight who is magically sent from the medieval era to present day.
Bamboozled by the entire thing, the knight sets out to seek his true quest and ends up falling for a caring high school science teacher who is disillusioned by love. A fun watch.
153. The Main Event
151. Who Would You Take to a Deserted Island?
This movie is basically an unoly mix between Nashville and Zac Efron’s awful DJ movie We Are Your Friends.
The most redeeming quality of this film is Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland whose doe eyes can convince me that pretty much anything I’m watching is halfway decent.
149. Love Wedding Repeat
148. Rim Of The World
147. 6 Underground
The writers behind Deadpool bring us this action-packed Michael Bay flick, starring Deadpool himself, Ryan Reynolds.
146. Candy Jar
145. The Package
143. The Red Sea Diving Resort
A spy thriller film starring the owner of America’s ass, Chris Evans.
The film is loosely based on the events of Operation Moses and Operation Joshua in 1984-1985, in which the Mossad covertly evacuated Jewish Ethiopian refugees to Israel using a base at the once-abandoned holiday resort of Arous Village on the Red Sea coast of Sudan.
It premiered at the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival to largely negative reviews, but if you’re looking for a spy thrilled to whack on after dinner, Chris is your man.
142. The Kissing Booth
This teen dream starring Joey King and Jacob Elordi is a reminder that decent rom-coms are few and far between. God, I miss the noughties.
141. The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter
140. How It Ends
138. Feel The Beat
137. The Two Popes
136. The Other Side of the Wind
Orson Welles’ last ever movie took almost a half-century to complete and I’m sorry to say I found it extremely dull, but that’s just because it’s not my cup of tea. It’s the opposite of my cup of tea. It’s a completely different beverage.
I hate that whole Blair Witch Project-esque, doco-style fictional filmmaking. It was a big old snoozefest and I just didn’t get it. In fact, I couldn’t get through the whole two hours to even tell ya how it ended but if you can, more power to ya.
135. Murder Mystery
Sandler’s take on an Agatha Christie-esque murder mystery was a record-breaker for Netflix which blew my fkn mind.
His co-star Jennifer Aniston brought some clout to the film but honestly, this is the first ever whodunnit? I’ve ever seen where I didn’t actually care who did it.
134. The Last Days of American Crime
I read somewhere the other day that folks were blaming the shitty reviews of this mess of a movie on the fact that it was released around the time Felicity Huffman went down for bribing her daughter into college. I call BS. It’s just a low-rent movie with a low-rent plot.
Fun fact: Viola Davis, Diane Keaton and Michelle Pfeiffer were originally signed on to play the mothers but ultimately bowed out… can’t imagine why.
132. A Very Murray Christmas
131. The Cloverfield Paradox
130. Spenser Confidential
129. Nappily Ever After
128. Coffee & Kareem
127. The Outsider
126. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
Joel and Ethan Coen’s Western anthology series was a ‘yuge part of Netflix’s brand-redefining 2018. It’s definitely not my thang, but if you fuck with the yee-haws, then you’ll probs dig it.
125. All Day and a Night
124. Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle
123. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny
122. I Am Not An Easy Man
121. Happy Anniversary
120. The Decline
119. Our Souls at Night
118. The Most Hated Woman in America
Look, I can see what they were going for with this one, but the would-be sci-fi epic ended up a incoherent mess.
115. I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House
114. Brain on Fire
113. The Week Of
112. Christmas Inheritance
111. Lust Stories
This anthology is noteworthy for a number of reasons, one of them being it’s the first appearance of a vibrator in the history of Indian film.
109. Death Note
108. Point Blank
107. The Laundromat
106. The Willoughbys
105. Uncut Gems
104. When We First Met
This rom-com recruits two popular members of young Hollywood, Adam Devine and Alexandra Daddario, to tell a story about toxic infatuation and *checks notes* time travel.
103. Tall Girl
She rose to fame by being booted from Abby Lee Miller’s dance academy on Dance Moms, now rising star Ava Michelle is waving the flag for tall girls everywhere with this heartwarming flick.
102. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
101. The Discovery
99. Like Father
98. The Princess Switch
This Vanessa Hudgens flick is so outrageously cheesy that it actually has shades of brilliance, completely nailing the genre of corny Chrissy flicks.
97. A Christmas Prince
96. A Futile and Stupid Gesture
95. All the Bright Places
94. Little Evil
93. Sand Castle
92. First Match
91. Layla M
90. American Son
89. War Machine
88. Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile
So this movie is perhaps better known for its controversy than anything else which is a real shame ‘cos not only is it a career-defining moment for Zac Efron, but it gave true crime fans an interesting insight into the, well, extremely wicked, shockingly evil and vile life of Ted Bundy.
87. Shimmer Lake
86. The Highwaymen
83. The Siege of Jadotville
82. Sierra Burgess Is a Loser
While it’s great to see the outsider role in a teen rom-com played by someone who may have actually fit that bill in high school (in what world would Hilary Duff not be the popular girl?), this movie is problematic for a myriad of reasons – mostly for its depiction of catfishing.
But if you can get past that fact, it’s a heartwarming yarn that anyone who’s ever felt like a Big Loser can relate to.
81. Sand Storm
80. Small Crimes
79. The Love Birds
78. The Polka King
77. Roxanne, Roxanne
76. Outlaw King
74. Velvet Buzzsaw
73. Come Sunday
72. The Perfect Date
Another almost-perfect rom-com starring every teen girl’s (and almost every adult man’s) dream boyfriend, Noah Centineo.
70. High Flying Bird
68. Between Two Ferns: The Movie
Ok so I like Zach Galifianakis but I’d never heard of Between Two Ferns so when I was made to watch this I was like what’s with these two ferns and why is he between them?
But who even cares about the semantics ‘cos what we have here in this Netflix rendition is a slew of A++ celeb guest stars and an unexpectedly heartwarming story, anchored by Galifianakis’ well-known and beloved brand of humour.
67. The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience
66. Dolemite Is My Name
It’s been a while since Eddie Murphy has produced something that’s halfway decent (the last time being Shrek 2, IMO).
In this comedy biopic he plays Rudy Ray Moore, a washed-up musician who transformed himself into the character of Dolemite. It’s got a 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes but it didn’t really blow my skirt up, if I’m honest with you.
But then again, maybe I’m still dirty about what he did to Mel B, I dunno.
65. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
This absolutely batshit movie filled the Eurovision-shaped hole in our lives (FYI: it was cancelled due to COVID).
Unlikely pair Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams are Fire Saga, a pop duo who compete in Eurovision, with the hope of becoming the Icelandic ABBA.
64. Wine Country
Six gals question their friendships and futures when they travel to Napa Valley, California, to celebrate a 50th birthday. Said gals include Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and a few other comedy greats.
63. The Babysitter
This ’80s throwback slasher pits a nerdy kid against a group of homicidal cool kids (starring Bella Thorne and Aussie Samara Weaving).
62. Hold The Dark
61. Horse Girl
60. Been So Long
59. The Fundamentals of Caring
My girl Selena Gomez and the ageless Paul Rudd star in this emotive Netflix film about a writer who retires after a personal tragedy and becomes a disabled teen’s caregiver.
58. To The Bone
Lily Collins gives a chilling performance as a young artist in recovery for an eating disorder.
It shines a light on a very important issue, albeit almost too bright a light that it’s actually too painful to watch at certain parts.
57. Triple Frontier
55. The Half of It
For me, The Half of It was a sign that we’re heading in the right direction, in terms of representation on screen.
Back in my day – I say while puffing a pipe – non-white characters were either sidekicks, villains or worse, extras, while LGBTQIA+ characters were always, always, ALWAYS a joke, purely placed there for comic relief but not to serve any real purpose.
This film has both rolled into the lead character and explores the complexities of growing up as what’s considered ‘other’. As both of these things, I really resonated with this film and seriously wish I’d had something like it when I was in high school.
54. Lost Girls
53. The Ritual
As a Blumhouse / James Wan stan, it’s rare for me to find a horror movie in recent years that absolutely fucking slaps, and The Ritual does just that. It slaps. Hard.
Four blokes embark on a hiking holiday through uncharted woods in Sweden when they stumble upon a Norse sacrifice and you can pretty much guess what happens next.
52. The Open House
51. Let It Snow
One of the best Christmas movies I’ve seen in a while (Netflix or otherwise), probably because it was an adaptation of a John Green novel.
Oh, and it also featured a stellar cast of non-has-beens, including Chilling Adventures of Sabrina star Kiernan Shipka and Spiderman’s Jacob Batalon.
50. Someone Great
49. 22 July
48. The Perfection
46. Alex Strangelove
45. The Land of Steady Habits
44. Win It All
A low-life gambler agrees to do one of his shady mates a solid by holding onto a sealed bag while he’s in the slammer. Naturally, he looks in the bag and finds… I ain’t spoiling it for ya. Give it a watch, you’ll be on the edge of your seat.
Elliot Page plays the titular role in this story of survival, directed by Orange is The New Black writer Sian Heder.
42. 6 Balloons
41. Burning Sands
40. The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind
Bong Joon-ho’s other masterpiece. Yep, the Parasite director has another hit flick under his belt that didn’t garner nearly as much attention as it should have.
Okja tells the story of a gentle giant and the girl who raised her, caught in the crossfire between animal activism, corporate greed and scientific ethics.
38. First They Killed My Father
37. The Incredible Jessica James
Of all the Sundance movies on this list, this one is perhaps the Sundanciest, which is a good thing. Trust me.
The Incredible Jessica James is about a struggling New York City playwright who’s just gone through an awful breakup when she makes an unlikely connection with a divorced app designer she meets on a blind date.
It’s a very 2020 plot but in the best possible way.
35. The Breaker Upperers
34. Deidra & Laney Rob a Train
33. I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore
32. Da 5 Bloods
Spike Lee’s first Original Netflix is arguably one of his best to date. It tells the story of five men in search of gold in the jungle and acts as a commentary on two wars that never ended – the Vietnam War and the struggle for civil rights. Powerful stuff.
31. Always Be My Maybe
29. I Am Mother
28. The Night Comes for Us
26. Gerald’s Game
If you were into spooky Netflix series The Haunting of Hill House, this movie will be riiight up your dark and creepy alley. It’s one of the best Stephen King adaptations on any platform, anchored by a phenomenal Carla Gugino performance.
25. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
You can never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever have too much Breaking Bad content, and this flick is a much-loved cog in the almighty BB wheel.
24. Diedra & Laney Rob a Train
23. Set It Up
22. Imperial Dreams
21. Beasts of No Nation
So many filmmakers have tried to fuse the horror genre with the digital age and it often comes off as low-rent and silly (Unfriended, Truth or Dare etc).
Cam, I feel, does what the aforementioned movies and others of its kind have failed to do: honour the genre while catering to the Netflix generation.
It takes hacking to a whole new level and is every social media users’ literal worst nightmare.
19. The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
There’s a lot of Adam Sandler crap on this list, but let’s give credit where credit’s due: this film fucking slaps.
Not all of the praise is in Sandler’s lap, though, as his co-stars Ben Stiller, Dustin Hoffman, and Emma Thompson definitely played a hand in its success, along with its to-die-for plot, oozing with Netflix magic.
The award-winning flick follows a group of dysfunctional adult siblings trying to live in the shadow of their father.
Arguably the best performance of Sandler’s career and an all-around great movie.
18. The Little Prince
17. Private Life
This heartbreaking story is about a couple (played by Kathryn Hahn and Paul Giamatti) facing fertility issues.
Tamara Jenkins returned to directing in this Netflix film for the first time since 2007 flick The Savages to paint a personal portrait of how a couple deals when struggling to fall pregnant.
14. The Platform
13. See You Yesterday
Alfonso Cuaron’s deeply personal story of the domestic worker who raised him. I dunno about you, but knowing that a story is based on truth always makes it all the more intriguing and ultimately hits you harder.
It’s in black and white, which obviously isn’t ideal for most people under the age of 40, but if you can get past that, you’re in for a heart-wrenching, powerful ride.
There’s no wonder why it was Netflix’s first nominee for Best Picture. An absolute triumph, I tell ya.
I mean, they had me at Dolly Parton.
But beyond Dolly’s sparkly charm, this YA novel adaptation encourages viewers, no matter who you are and what dress size you wear, to follow your dreams and flip the bird to the haters.
Aussie bb Danielle MacDonald aces the bold and brave lead role with Jennifer Aniston playing the proud mama.
And the whole thing is soundtracked by Dolly which obvs makes it worth a watch or three.
8. The Irishman
Netflix’s most ambitious and expensive project ever is this 3.5-hour masterpiece based on the life of Frank Sheeran, errand boy for the Mafia.
It was an absolute coup for the streaming service, featuring the legendary, Marvel-hating Martin Scorsese as director and your fave Italians Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, and Joe Pesci as lead actors.
Defs one to whack on the must-watch list – it’ll just take up a small chunk of your life to get through it.
7. To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You
Commonly referred to as Netflix’s first masterpiece, Mudbound is a period drama that depicts racism, trauma, and injustice in the post-WWII South.
The ensemble cast includes Jason Mitchell, Carey Mulligan, Garrett Hedlund, Jason Clarke and Dee Rees.
It copped a crazy amount of award nominations, most notably a few Golden Globes and Academy Awards.
This record-breaking 2019 flick was a fast-paced, high-action extravaganza.
Visually, it’s blood, guts and dust storms galore, but you’ve got Chris Hemsworth’s divine face to treat your senses to while trying to keep up with the electrifying plot.
4. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
The Netflix film that put cutie Noah Centineo on the map – this is the first GREAT teen rom-com since, god, I don’t even know how long.
It features a plotline that wasn’t written solely to cater to the current gen. I mean, she writes love letters, ffs, not love texts or emails, like most other teen rom-com writers would’ve had the lead character do.
But not only did the flick have me writing Matt 4 Noah <3 in my journal a thousand times, I was also hopelessly devoted to the lead character, played by the sweet and sassy Lana Condor. Netflix nailed the teen rom-com here and they’ve been trying to match that energy ever since, to minimal success.
3. The King
I haven’t loved a period drama of any kind since, I dunno, Lord of the Rings (is that even a period drama?) and yes, that includes the Game of Thrones series.
But The King, in my not-so-humble opinion, is a period film worth hailing.
My husbands Timothée Chalamet and Robert Pattinson take centre stage, along with Aussie Joel Edgerton and Lily-Rose Depp.
2. Marriage Story
Ooh boi, this movie fucks me up. For this reason I was only able to sit through it once so I’m sorry if my incessant sobs made me so delirious that I felt it deserved to be placed at number two.
But regardless, as a stone-cold Scorpio, I rarely cry in movies and this one had me weeping like a bb without a bottle, so it must be good.
Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver play a couple whose marriage has dissolved into tears, for both them and you. Watch with an army of tissues on hand.
1. Bird Box
It’s not the fact that this movie became one of the biggest memes of all time that earned it the number one spot, nor the fact that my favourite actor Sandy Bullock plays the lead role.
It’s that the film did such a bang up job at representing various human responses to a crisis that now seems eerily prescient and alarmingly accurate.
Bird Box is one of those ones that really draws you in and makes you feel like you’re along for the ride, and it’s not just because my eyes were covered with a pillow for many parts of the film, just like the characters fighting to survive.
Every single one of the above movies are now streaming on Netflix.