ESPN Is Gonna Turn The Ocho From ‘Dodgeball’ Into A Real-Life TV Channel

It’s a bold strategy, if ever there’s been one.

The legendary coverage of the epic 2004 Las Vegas Dodgeball Tournament final between Average Joe’s and the Globo Gym Purple Cobras has rightfully taken its place in the annals of sports broadcasting history.

Sure, it was done by a “fictional” channel and featured “fictional” teams and characters. But that’s not gonna be the case for much longer.

Dodgeball‘ obscure sports network ESPN 8: The Ocho is set to become its own, real-life, no-foolin’ TV network, with ESPN in the US breathing life into the network famously anchored by Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks.

Those of you with minds for movie quotes like steel traps will readily recall the Ocho’s signature slogan – “Bringing you the finest in seldom-seen sports from around the globe since 1999. If it’s almost a sport, we’ve got it here” – and the real-life Ocho is set to be no different.

ESPN announced that, for one day on August the 8th (8/8, geddit?) – their existing ESPN U channel will be transformed into the almighty Ocho, complete with a lineup of super obscure sports that, frankly, sound like good-ass viewing.

What sports, you ask?

The Ocho takeover begins at midnight by airing the 2016 American Disc Golf Championships.

Following that, it’s the WFTDA Roller Derby Championships, which is scheduled to lead straight into some Ultimate Trampoline Dodgeball.

After that, at 5:30am, is the Firefighters World Challenge, followed by the 2016 Kabbadi World Cup Final, then comes the World Darts Championship, and the best of the 2016 WAL Arm Wrestling Championship rounds out the morning.

But at 12:30pm, half-past midday, the real main event of proceedings is set to hit the air, with the Ocho showing the almighty 2017 Championship of Bags.

What in the blue hell is the Championship of Bags, you ask?

It’s cornhole.

Competitive cornhole.

And it fucking rules.

Might be time to get yr US buddies to set the DVR for a full day. This is P R I M E couch-day material.