Harbouring a virulent strand of influenza, Ellen Degeneres was forced this week to cancel both a week of shows and postpone her much-anticipated trip to Australia, for which she was due to arrive today.
People of Australia! I’m down, but I’m not out. I’ll be in Sydney next weekend, and Melbourne after that. More details soon!
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 15, 2013
The good news now is that Ellen and her entourage will be joined by a latent strand of whatever it is Ellen’s currently ailed with, meaning that should you get close enough to shimmy with the reigning Queen of The Dance on daytime television your chances of contracting both a hug and a crippling celebrity viral infection have increased considerably; you should be so lucky to have a little piece of Ellen Degeneres DNA lying dormant inside you, multiplying within the living cells of You, the newly acquired host vessel, from now until the day it claims your life for its own.
