Ellen Caught An Audience Member Stealing & Executed The Perf Shame Suplex

Let it be known: when Ellen DeGeneres begins her reign as divine ruler, petty thieves will be the first against the wall.

In a remarkable turn from her usually delightful on-stage persona, Ellen saw it fit to make an insanely public example of an audience member who’d pinched some merch earlier this week. 

Aping her hidden-camera stunts, the Ellen crew put out a table of goodies for attendees, with the proviso that every audience member could take one – and exactly one – for free. 

After catching a woman violating this solemn decree, Ellen saw it fit to heap several generation’s worth of shame upon the five-finger discounter Nancy.

“My sister couldn’t come, so that was her souvenir,” Nancy explained.

“Yeah, a lot of people’s sisters couldn’t come,” Ellen pass-agg’d back.

The host then presented an utterly demeaning high chair for Nancy to sit in. When Nancy ambled in the wrong direction, Ellen was forced to intervene, saying “no, you’ll steal stuff back there. Come here.”

Sprinkle in a burn about being a good person when nobody is watching, it was far more brutal a display than could have been expected from Ellen’s deliberately light show. We will say one thing, though: we’re keen for her to get a little bit more savage on the stand-up circuit.

Source and photo: The Ellen Show / YouTube.