Because this is apparently the year that simply will not quit, Elle Macpherson is now the latest celeb to peddle the clearly-bullshit BioCharger after disgraced chef Pete Evans was pinged for promoting the Big Energies Machine on Facebook. Not sure who had this on their Cursed 2020 Energy bingo card but go right ahead and daub that one off, champs.

The supermodel-turned-wellness-company-founder shared on her Instagram stories over the weekend that she’s been using the $15k energy-emitting (?) machine in her home for the past two months, which was then shared by Pete on his own Instagram (amongst all the concerning “Red Pill” and conspiracy theory stuff) questioning why he got stung $25k for promoting it.

Elle Macpherson also shared on her story that the BioCharger has “key benefits” including better sleep, improved athletic recovery and increased energy. Sorry but even though I’m someone who’s into crystals and things holding energy and power, I truly cannot believe this machine won’t absolutely cook my brain on a high simmer given half the chance.

Christ on a bike. (Image: Instagram/@ellemacphersonofficial)

Surfing legend Kelly Slater has also admitted that he has one of the machines that kinda seems like a Very Expensive Night Light at the best of times, sharing that he doesn’t think it’s done “anything miraculous” for him, but apparently his grandkid with “autoimmune stuff happening” has had his attitude change after using it. How does this bloody Big Energies Light Machine keep showing up and why the hell won’t it go away?

Kelly nooo. (Image: Instagram/@chefpeteevans)

There’s no indication on whether Elle Macpherson or Kelly Slater will get pinged with a similar fine for promoting pseudoscience and the Biocharger (aka Big Flyzapper Machine) that helps ~rebalance your energies~ or whatever, but I guess she also hasn’t said it’ll help cure something as legitimate and serious as the Coronavirus. Guess we’ll just have to see how this one turns out. Grab us some popcorn, would ya?

Image: Getty Images / Gisela Schober / @ellemacphersonofficial