Are you into short Asian guys who wear baby cardigans? and I love a female that looks like a bag of money are lines from “Dudes on OKCupid”, the minimal electro single by Brooklyn comedy project Backfat Variety. The lyrics are quotes lifted from real life OKCupid profiles and lines like If I were a drink I would be one part artsy, one part bro-y and all parts fun is a good reminder that some human beings are not only abominable douchelords but they can’t even comprehend basic maths.

The clip is American but the language of love-seeking Internet tools is universal.

Anyone who has had the pleasure of experiencing OkCupid or any other type of online dating will be all too familiar with the conversational red flags that regularly emerge from wannabe matches. If you’ve had a doozie, share in the comment section.